Life out on the political fringe.

Author:Bagge, Peter
Position:Cartoon
 
FREE EXCERPT

SEATTLE, WA, OCT. 2014: I WENT DOOR TO DOOR DROPPING OFF CAMPAIGN LITERATURE FOR TWO CANDIDATES RUNNING FOR STATE LEGISLATURE ...

HMMM... I'LL BET CHAIN-SMOKERS DON'T VOTE ...

OR

PITBULL OWNERS ...

OR--JUDGING BY THAT DOORD--OMESTIC ABUSERS ...

ONE WAS RUNNING AS A LIBERTARIAN, THE OTHER AS A "RON PAUL REPUBLICAN." THUS, NEITHER HAD ANY CHANCE OF WINNING.

STILL, NO ONE GAVE ME A HARD TIME ABOUT THESE CANDIDATES POLITICS. IN FACT, NO ONE TALKED TO ME AT ALL...

SO IT WAS MY OWN LAZINESS THAT LED ME TO COME UP WITH EXCUSES TO AVOID CERTAIN HOMES.

THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE ALSO ASHED ME TO PLANT A FEW DOZEN CAMPAIGN SIGNS--A RATHER HARROWING" TASK, IN MORE UAHS THAN ONE.

WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS AGAINST THE LAW!

NO IT ISN'T?

AND I'LL BET YOU NEVER SCOLD DEMOCRATIC VOLUNTEERS!

ONE WEEK LATER, THE SIGNS I'D PLANTED WERE ALL MISSING, AND REPLACED WITH HUNDREDS OF SIGNS' TOUTING HER OPPONENT!

JEEZ! WHAT A DICK MOVE?

AND ALL FOR A CANDIDATE WHO HAS ZERO CHANCE OF LOSING!

WHY WAS I DOING THIS, YOU ASK? SIMPLY BECAUSE, MOST OF MY FELLOW SEATTLEITES HAVE COMPLETELY LOST THEIR MINDS.

WHY, JUST LOOK AT ALL THESE UNFUNDED, UNENFORCEABLE NEW LAWS ON THIS YEARS BALLOT ...

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER!

YET ANOTHER LEVY TO REDUCE CLASS SIZES? HELL, WHY NOT ...

THE THIRTIETH TIME'S A CHARM, THEY SAY!

REDUCE TRAFFIC BY DEDICATINC MORE LANES TO UNDERUSED LIGHT RAIL AND BIKE LANES?

WHY, THE LOGIC IS IRREFUTABLE!

HOW CAN TODAY'S TEENS RAISE A FAMILY OF FOUR ON LESS THAN $15 IS AN HOUR?

ANSWER ME THAT!

THE STATE GOP GAVE UP ON SEATTLE AGES AGO, WITH ONLY AN OCCASIONALLONE UOLF CANDIDATE TAKING ON THE DEMOCRATIC/PROGRESSIVE MACHINE ...

I HAVE A FULL-TIME JOB, HEALTH ISSUES, NO "WAR CHEST" TO SPEAK OF ...

ANO NOW MY CAR IS IN THE SHOP ...

MOST OF WHOM ARE RON PAUL'S PROGENY, SUCH AS REGISTERED NURSE SARINA FORBES ...

BUT THE THOUGHT OF THAT ENTRENCHED, SPENDAHOLIC INCUMBENT RUNNING UNOPPOSED REALLY BUGGED ME ...

SO I'M DOING THIS, IN SPITE OR EVERYTHING ...

WISH ME LUCK! =OOF=

HOW CAN I HELP?

WELL, YOU COULD BECOME YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD GOP PRECINCT COMMITTEE OFFICER ...

HUH? BUT I'M NOT A REGISTERED REPUB--

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE. IN FACT, YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ...

BUT AT LEAST YOU'LL KEEP SOME NEOCON FROM TAKING THAT SLOT!

ONE WEEK LATER, THERE I WAS, ATTENDING A P.C.O. TRAINING SEMINAR.

... DO SOME DOOR-BELLING ...

RECRUIT POTENTIAL CANDIDATES ...

HELP US BUILD OUR DATABASE ...

UGH! THEY EXPECT ME TO WORK!

AT ONE POINT ANOTHER P.C.O. ASKED THE CHAIRWOMAN AN ODD QUESTION ...

...

To continue reading

FREE SIGN UP