Let's Be Different This Year.

• Author: Clyde, Marianne
• Position: THERAPEUTIC THEORY - Surviving the holidays

AS LOVELY as the holidays can be, this whole time of year just seems to pile on the stress, doesn't it? There are deadlines at work that need to be met before the end of the year--and it is easy to find yourself obligated to holiday parties that seemingly come every other evening. Then there are the Christmas cards that have to be sent out and the gifts that need to be bought. Add in the extra baking, cooking, and unhealthy eating, as well as some overindulgence in alcohol, and you could be looking at a prolonged headache that just will not go away--and we have yet to mention the throngs of people coming to your house; some of whom you don't even like.

Traditions and rituals can be fun and create great memories. They can be grounding, particularly for children. However, it is important to remember that the season should be festive... or what is the point? If it stops being fun and meaningful, and if the memories that are being created are negative, it is time to make some changes.

People often resist change, thinking that they are giving up on something that always has been cherished, so they dig in their heels even deeper and grit their teeth, hating the entire process--but if you aren't happy, healthy, and energized with goodwill, then the best-laid plans are going to fall flat.

Here are some things to consider:

* Look at your holiday traditions with a critical eye. If you do not enjoy them and you are only doing them because they are "expected," it might be time to call it quits.

* Ask yourself what happens if you stop sending cards or baking so many cookies. Can the practice be adjusted in some way to make it easier and more enjoyable? (Perhaps just send cards to those you have not seen all year.)

* Maybe it is time to visit--and be visited by--only those whom you want to see.

* Could dinner be an easy-to-prepare potluck instead of a burdensome chore? How about paper plates and a picnic-style buffet?

* Might it be possible to choose which gatherings are most important for your family, career, and community? Put those on your calendar and write a lovely thank you note to the others, sending your regrets that you cannot do it all.

* Which decorations are a must and which can take a break? Consider a rotation system in which you alternate year-to-year, all the while putting up less than in the past.

* Try some new healthier recipes, with some of the traditional dishes mixed in.

* Make mealtimes more interesting by baking little fortunes...