Let the GAME BEGIN!(the long road of presidential campaigning)

• Author: COLLINS, GAIL

THE PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES MAY BE CONFUSING, DISORGANIZED, AND NOT ENTIRELY FAIR. BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE AMUSING. ONE OF AMERICA'S LEADING POLITICAL COMMENTATORS TAKES A LOOK AT HOW THEY WORK--AND HOW THEY DON'T.

Al Gore has been trying so hard to be exciting as he campaigns in the Democratic primary, that if he keeps it up he'll rupture his vocal cords before the New Hampshire primary on February 1. The new Al Gore has been yelling, trying to make up in decibels what he lacks in spontaneity.

"I am not satisfied! INDEED I AM RESTLESS!" the Vice President cried in Carthage, Tennessee, announcing his candidacy for President with a list of promises about what he would do to move the country TOWARD AMERICA'S NEW HORIZONS!

On the Republican side, the picture isn't much prettier. In the primary debates so far, Texas Governor George W. Bush has demonstrated his incredible ability to respond to virtually any question by pointing out that he has been elected Governor twice in Texas. He even responded this way when the original question was about what he reads.

Think of the Presidential primaries as one of those made-for-TV sports events in which the competitors climb, swim, race, bicycle, and maybe hop across a field in a potato sack before they reach the finish line. You may not be sure what it means, but you do know the winner did it better than anybody else.

The goal here is to nominate a Republican and a Democratic candidate for President. The game begins January 24 with the Iowa caucuses, in which voters choose delegates to the national convention, where they in turn will choose the party's nominee. The Iowa caucuses are not a very scientific measure of whom the country as a whole would like to make President. Iowa's a farm state, with few minority residents and no big cities.

But because it's first, it has taken on significance. Virtually every candidate has been campaigning in Iowa for months, promising to do everything under the sun to help family farmers. If Bush, the Republican favorite, loses in Iowa--or even wins by a smaller margin than anticipated--it will be seen as a sign of weakness. On the Democratic side, Gore must win convincingly, or the public will begin to ask whether his opponent, Bill Bradley, is gaining momentum.

AMID THE ALIEN CORN

A good sign of the power of the Iowa caucus is the ethanol subsidy. Ethanol is a fuel made from corn, and although the federal government has poured about $10 billion into a program subsidizing ethanol use, it still isn't very popular or economical. The Iowa corn farmers, however, don't want to hear any talk about ending a program that buys up so much corn.

Republican candidates Bush and Steve Forbes, who...