It is the opposite of opposites attract.


One of popular culture's most persistent theories when it comes to how we choose our mates is something we all have heard before: opposites attract. However, is it true? Not so much, according to researchers in the Department of Family Studies and Human Development in the School of Family and Consumer Sciences at the University of Arizona, Tucson.

"The idea that opposites attract may seem good but, when we do the research, it doesn't pan out," says Melissa Curran, associate professor of family and consumer sciences. In fact, the exact opposite of "opposites attract" seems to be true. "The best finding is that the more similarities you have, the better. There's really no danger in having too much in common."

Relationships between partners who are more similar--who share the same core values and enjoy spending time in similar ways--tend to last longer and have less conflict than those between partners who are very different. That is not to say you should be scouring the dating pool for a carbon copy of yourself. The key is finding someone who is similar when it comes to the things that are most important, or "salient," to you. For instance, if you identify politically as a Democrat and your partner identifies a Republican, but neither of you is very involved or interested in politics, the match could work but, if both of you are extremely passionate about your...

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