ING Direct high rate savings.

• Author: Wachtel, George
• Position: Letter Doctor

Here is a marketing package from a nontraditional bank competitor: ING Direct, selling their high-rate Orange Savings Account. The offer is a good one ... just the packaging and presentation could be streamlined to make the sale.

(1) The outer envelope. The offer came in a window envelope, with large "teaser copy" touting the benefits: "Earn more than 9X the national average with your Orange Savings Account. Plus, we'll give you $25 to get started." While strong, it is a little wordy and could have been shortened and still have the same impact: "Earn 9X more on your savings + Get a $25 Bonus!"

(2) Check facsimile. The address block showing through the window reinforced the message by having a "Pay to:" in front of the prospect's name.

(3) Overall look. When the consumer opens the letter, it unfolds to a complex 8.5" x 17" piece in three parts: the bonus check on top; the letter in the middle; and the application on the bottom. It looks overwhelming to the reader and could have been better packaged by having the application as a separate piece (there does not appear to be any personalization on it)--which could have been combined with the brief (and effective) lift note they included telling the reader how easy it is to make deposits and withdrawals.

And assuming the prime target market for this savings product is people over the age of 50, using that tiny 10-point type size is hard on those old eyes.

(4) Key selling points...