I wish I'd known.

• Author: Puterbaugh, Dolores T.
• Position: PARTING THOUGHTS

WHEN DONALD RUMSFELD pointed out that there are things we do not know that we do not know, some members of the press corps mocked the then-Secretary of Defense for weeks. He was correct, however--there are factors outside of our awareness and, thus, we cannot know that we do not know them. Conversely, there are things we do not know that we know. In some cases, when we become aware of knowing a thing, it becomes inconceivable that we ever did not know it.

A classic example is the concept of "Conservation," described by Jean Piaget. Nearly every entry-level psychology student over the past few decades has been privy to Piaget's famous film clip of a little girl, before and after her epiphany about what Piaget calls "conservation." Conservation, in developmental psychology, is the understanding that the tall, skinny eight-ounce glass of milk contains the same quantity as the short eight-ounce glass. Nothing is added or taken away as matter changes shape. In the toddler and preschool years, before a child understands this, he or she remains convinced that the round ball of clay, which you have rolled out into a snake before his or her very eyes, has become more clay. You cannot convince youngsters otherwise. Pour the chocolate milk back and forth all you like; the child will howl that she is being cheated if it ends up in the short eight-ounce glass. As Piaget allowed the little girl in his film to demonstrate, once the concept is grasped, it is impossible to imagine not knowing it. Her impatience with another child who cannot grasp it is tangible and hilarious, especially as it so closely follows her own assertions in kind.

What else do we not know we know, or cannot imagine not knowing, once we know it? This can lead to some entertaining discussions. For instance:

* "The person with the least interest in a particular relationship has the most control over that relationship." It seems so obvious once it is in black and white, but how many of us have agonized over how to influence someone, please somebody, or control an individual whose lack of concern over the relationship rendered our most valiant efforts feeble? Whether it is a store manager and a clerk, a beloved and a lover, or a screaming baby and a parent, it is the person with the least interest in the quality of the relationship--or even the existence of a relationship--who wields all the power. Truly integrating this into your knowledge bank would shortcircuit the urge to hurl...