I Was 18 and In Control -- Or So I Thought.

• Author: SILVERSTEIN, DARA
• Position: Consequences of loss of self-control - Brief Article

ATLANTA, GEORGIA--I was 18 and on my own at college--independent, capable, and free. I felt like being that age made me ready to handle all of life's situations. However, I quickly realized I was wrong, and unfortunately, I learned this lesson in a very frightening way.

It happened this fall in my second week at school. I received a phone call from a guy I had first met when I was 9 and whom I had seen again this past summer. He was now 25 and living in the same city as my school.

I agreed to go out to dinner with him, thinking that it would be harmless, and intrigued by the age difference. Little did I know that dinner to him meant "going out for drinks." I ignorantly started drinking on an empty stomach, and the evening went downhill from there. I do not know why I allowed myself to drink so much--possibly because I was nervous and wanted to prove that I was grown up. I did not prove anything.

The next thing I knew, an alarm clock was going off. I opened my eyes, and I immediately realized I was somewhere I was not supposed to be--in bed next to him. My mind was completely blank. I could not remember anything that had happened the night before. I was too confused to even question what had occurred. I just got out and rushed back to the security of my dorm room.

My thoughts began racing: What if I had been raped? What if I had been drugged? What if I wasn't a virgin anymore? I would not even know, because I simply could not remember. Within 24 hours, I went from feeling like a carefree 18-year-old to feeling helpless, stupid, and immature. I decided...