Humor - Dark Musings: What Happens to Bad Attorneys?

• Citation: Vol. 49 No. 2
• Publication year: 2023

Humor - Dark Musings: What Happens to Bad Attorneys? Vol. 49 No. 2 Pg. 24 Vermont Bar Journal June, 2023

by Julia Compagna, Esq.

Dark Musings: What Happens to Bad Attorneys?

Ever wonder what happens to bad attorneys when they die? Maybe there's a special place in hell for the bad actors who've stolen from their elderly clients, then fled the country with their au pair or cabana boy; or the perennial bad boys who've lied under oath to protect their political candidate clients?

Or maybe there's a realm of purgatory, or even just good old Karma coming back to bite them while they're still living?

This discussion arose in our office on a recent late Friday when we were all punchy with humor - the result of exhaustion. We imagined what our particular purgatory might be if we were ever to intentionally step outside our ethical boundaries.

Picture 60's TV sitcom Gilligan's Island, but without the fun characters or bamboo car. Instead, you're stranded on a desert island with your most challenging and difficult clients; FOREVER. You know the ones. The client who drops in and wants to pay $100 for advice on the spot, talks non-stop and can't be deterred; the seasonally unbalanced client who "runs away" to your office during episodes; the disbarred attorney looking to be your new client; the client who telephones relentlessly, incapable of waiting for a call-back; the habitual tambourine player (yep, you read that right); and the jackpot of all clients - the one who watched all 456 episodes of TV's...