How to win friends and influence people: powerful thoughts in the marketing of professional services.

• Author: Bond, Thomas R.

At the suggestion of Jim Hassett, Ph.D., president and co-founder of LegalBizDev, I recently read Dale Carnegie's well-known book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." I must admit that, as I started to read this really old book, I had serious doubts as to how applicable it would be here in the age of CRMs, ERMs, online social networking, sophisticated websites and elaborate advertising campaigns in the marketing of professional legal services.

I did note that, rather remarkably, this book has been in print and very actively sold for more than 70 years. I am 65 years old and have been noting of late that it is becoming increasingly harder for me to find people and objects older than me. Using a decidedly elementary form of philosophical reasoning, albeit arguably flawed, the thought came to me that I have some good marketing advice and wisdom to share, ergo, this old and remarkably enduring book must also.

My goal in writing this article is two-fold: First, I want to tell you enough about this informative and insightful book to entice you to read it; and second, I want to relate to you some of the ways in which interpersonal dynamics, as contrasted to my legal skills, have played a vital role in the building of my legal practice.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that this masterly book exceeded my expectations. Carnegie closely studied and came to know people, both the common man and the famous, extremely well. His recommendations carry real potential for one to make more friends, but the real surprise for me was the strong marketing orientation of this book.

Applied Theories on Marketing

When you come right down to it, people determine whether they will form a professional relationship. Carnegie nicely develops the theory that the more we know about people and how to influence them, the more successful we will be in our marketing efforts. This how-to book has an interlocking centerpiece.

The first half of this centerpiece is captured in a quote of William James, a famous psychologist and philosopher, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated," to which Carnegie adds, "He [William James] didn't speak, mind you, of the 'wish' or 'desire' or the 'longing' to be appreciated. He said 'craving' to be appreciated." (Emphasis supplied.)

The second half of this centerpiece is reflected in a quote Carnegie ascribed to Henry Ford, "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get to the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." Carnegie appends to this thought by observing, "That is so simple, so obvious...