How to overcome the never-ending 'nevers'.

• Position: Holiday Spirit

For all the promise of joy, peace, and harmony that comes with the holiday season, the reality for millions of people is that the season is anything but a celebration. For many, it is a reminder of lost loved ones, personal disappointments, and dreams left unfulfilled.

For life coach Teri Johnson, however, the negative "nevers" of the disappointing hand life may have dealt you is where the healing starts. By confronting a never-ending and unproductive cycle of negativity the elusive joy of the holiday season can be found--not just now but every day of the year, says Johnson, author of Overcoming the Nevers.

"You never thought you'd get divorced, but you did. You never dreamed you would find yourself in an abusive relationship, but you are. You never thought you would need to lose 100 pounds, but you do--and you never thought you'd be 45 years old without a job, losing your home, and drowning in debt, but you are.

"We start to believe lies about ourselves, such as 'I'm not good enough' or 'I'm undeserving.' We escape our pain and these toxic feelings by descending into unhealthy behaviors and addictions. However, there is freedom from...