How to deal with difficult people: you can choose a constructive approach to challenging colleagues and constituents. Here's how.

• Author: Feustel, Bruce
• Position: TOOLS OF THE TRADE

In the midst of the legislative session, irritating behavior can drive you crazy. Maybe it's the complaining citizen who won't stop whining, the staffer who blames others for her mistakes, or the supervisor who won't listen to your ideas.

Legislative work can be exciting and fulfilling, but some people just push your buttons. It's not hard to find these challenging people--the trick is knowing how to handle them.

There are various approaches to dealing with difficult situations caused by co-workers and constituents.

No matter how you normally respond, there are intentional steps you can take to improve your skills in turning these encounters into positive learning opportunities. Really. And what you learn will serve you well your entire life, because, as we all know, there is no shortage of difficult people.

What's so Difficult?

What defines difficult? Although a challenging co-worker for you may not be for others, in general, these people are aggravating, disruptive and time-consuming. They exhibit an abundance of negativity, anger, bullying, gossip, disrespect, complaints and more. They are the know-it-alls, the co-workers who take credit for your work, the constituents who constantly demand your attention or the acquaintances who talk at length about only themselves.

OK, by now you probably have a couple of people in mind.

Here are some ways to deal with them.

1

Keep Calm and Carry On

Outbursts and difficult behavior from colleagues and others may seem to come out of nowhere. It may take you by surprise and make you feel personally attacked or threatened, which can make you want to respond with anger, sarcasm or disrespect. Don't. It most likely will only make things worse. Take a few seconds before responding, even taking a couple of deep breaths to maintain self-control and to gather your thoughts. Pause long enough to get a handle on what's happening and to stay objective about the situation. But don't avoid confronting the issue altogether. Left unaddressed, it usually just gets worse. The most important thing to remember is that you can't control others, but you can control yourself.

2

First Things First

Take a mental step back when difficulty arises to focus on the big picture. Ask yourself: What's the most important goal or priority in all of this? For example, if a problem arises with a troublesome colleague when working on a memo for a legislator, the priority is to get the legislator a timely and high-quality memo. If you make...