How do I stop my friend from skimping on tips?

• Author: Klosterman, Chuck
• Position: THE ETHICIST - Brief article

My friend is often dissatisfied with restaurant service and therefore tips poorly, even in cases when it's not the waiter's fault. I pride myself on being a good tipper, and my friend's low tips reflect poorly on me. But he says it's "not his problem" that servers rely on tips to make a living wage. I've reached the point where I don't want to eat out with him. Flow do I explain this to him?

Anonymous, Seattle

TECHNICALLY, THIS IS AN ETIQUETTE, NOT AN ETHICS, issue. But I will answer it anyway.

You could choose to decline all future dinner invitations from this person. But that seems extreme--your friend is cheap, but he's not breaking the law. You also can't make him tip more against his will.

Here's what I would do: When the bill arrives, calculate how much your friend is undertipping. Add that amount...