Herbie DiFonzo—Being There

• Published date: 01 January 2018
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12316
• Date: 01 January 2018
• Author: Peter Salem

HERBIE DIFONZO—BEING THERE

Peter Salem

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I cannot recall the exact day, or even the year, that I first met Herbie DiFonzo. He just always

seemed to be there. For more than two decades, representatives of AFCC and Hofstra Law School

have worked closely together, due to our connection with Family Court Review (FCR) and Andy

Schepard, its editor emeritus. Among the characteristics Andy brings to both Hofstra and AFCC is a

penchant for inclusiveness. This resulted in Herbie’s presence at virtually every one of the dozens of

meetings and events I’ve attended at Hofstra over the last twenty years. Whether it was planning a

policy initiative, attending a conference, or working with FCR editorial staff, Herbie was always

there. Likewise, he seemed to always be there for AFCC conferences and other important events.

Never with a flourish, never putting himself out in front, but always present and accounted for and

ready to contribute. Herbie was always there.

My reference to Herbie’s proclivity for “being there”should by no means be mistaken for

damning with faint praise. It is true, Woody Allen said, that “showing up is 80% of life.”And the

Jerzy Kosinkski film Being There depicts a simple man, Chance the gardener, who becomes a confi-

dante to the president of the United States—and in the final scene, walks on water—simply by being

in the right place at the right time while his simple utterances are misconstrued as political

metaphors. But the opposite was true of Herbie; he didn’t just show up (although comments from his

students suggest the walking on water comparison might be apt).

Unlike Chance the gardener, Herbie was in the right place at the right time for a reason. He was

there time and again because wise people recognized his talents and asked him to be there. And for

AFCC, Herbie consistently and generously said yes. In contrast to misinterpreting the simple phrase

as complex, Herbie took complex concepts, about which there was often much debate, and

articulated them in a clear, incisive, instructive, and apolitical manner, something his students and

colleagues doubtless appreciated. Herbie was entrusted by AFCC with the intellectual heavy lifting,

serving as co-reporter for two important think tank projects, the Family Law Education Reform

Project and Closing the Gap: Research, Practice, Policy, and Shared Parenting. It would be

important to Herbie to credit his co-reporters, Professors Mary O’Connell and Marsha Kline Pruett,

with whom he overcame formidable challenges to write important and persuasive reports that made

lasting contributions.

Herbie has been there for AFCC in many other ways. During the think tanks referenced above, he

was there as a calm and rational voice whenever conflict emerged, helping to facilitate consensus in

difficult situations. He was a regular presenter at AFCC conferences. He was there at many AFCC

awards ceremonies, always cheering on his colleagues and also among the few who were recognized

more than once for their contributions, first as a recipient of the Stanley Cohen Distinguished

Research Award and just last year with the AFCC President’s Award, along with his late wife Ruth

Stern and FCR social science editor Bob Emery.

Herbie has consistently been there for FCR. He was a member of the editorial board; an author

of numerous FCR articles; and a teacher, editor, and advisor to many Hofst ra students on the FCR

editorial staff. Two years ago, when unforeseen circumstances result ed in a dire need for editorial

support, Herbie stepped in to take over the teaching and supervising of students writing their notes

for the journal, while his wife Ruth took on the larger task of managing FCR forthebetterpartof

a year. Herbie played a major role in gently persuading Ruth to take on the managing editor job.

FAMILY COURT REVIEW, Vol. 56 No. 1, January 2018 11–12

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C2018 Association of Family and Conciliation Courts