"help" Is Not a Four-letter Word
| Publication year | 2023 |
| Citation | Vol. 52 No. 6 Pg. 16 |
| Pages | 16 |
August, 2023
DEPARTMENT | MENTORING MATTERS
BY J. RYANN PEYTON
Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping" is the sage advice Mr. Rogers so consistently provided to us as children seeking to understand a complex world. Now as adults we understand that seeking out helpers is a much more nuanced and challenging endeavor than our favorite TV neighbor would have us believe. For lawyers specifically, seeking help is simply not an innate skill that many of us possess. Whether due to perfectionism, high achievement, competitiveness, impatience, or some other trait, asking for help is just plain hard for lawyers, and in many legal organizations, "help" is just another four-letter word to be avoided.
Additionally, with the demands of the billable hour and the constant need for business development, it can be difficult for lawyers to prioritize time to create meaningful professional and personal relationships where help-seeking could be more easily incorporated. The legal profession has a propensity to create a heightened intrinsic motivation toward competition and outperforming colleagues. While this mindset largely delivers hungry lawyers driven to succeed, it doesn't easily translate into bonds of friendship where driven lawyers feel accepted and connect easily to their peers. It's no wonder that law continues to be one of the loneliest professions.[1]
The good news is that help is just around the corner, and there are practical steps that every legal professional can take to build a village to help navigate the challenges and responsibilities of lawyering.
Rethinking Imposter Phenomenon
First described by psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance in the 1970s, impostor phenomenon occurs among high achievers who are unable to internalize and accept their success. They often attribute their accomplishments to luck rather than ability, and they fear that others will eventually unmask them as a fraud.[2] This very real and specific form of intellectual self-doubt accompanies feelings of anxiety, which can lead to an internalized aversion to seeking help.
In addition to the concern that asking for help might reveal the asker to be the imposter they believe themselves to be, imposter phenomenon can also create a sense that one is not worthy or deserving of help in the first place. As a result, the perceived inadequacy becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in which any actual inadequacies remain in place without the benefit of resources and assistance to improve. Most concerning of all, the imposter phenomenon tends to impact women lawyers, first-generation lawyers, and lawyers of color more than any other demographic, keeping those who are already marginalized in our profession even more marginalized.[3]
Although imposter phenomenon can produce very personal feelings of anxiety, perfectionism, and inferiority, the concept of imposter phenomenon has become so globally ubiquitous that it is now almost meaningless in its implications. If everyone suffers from imposter phenomenon, does it even exist at all? How does imposter phenomenon keep us focused on...
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