Acts of faith: In which our man in Washington hears Charlton Heston talk to himself and prays for relief from tax-funded religious charity.

• Author: Lynch, Michael W.
• Position: Capital Letters - Conservative Political Action Committee conference

Subj: The Ebullient Right Wing

Date: 2/17/01

From: mwlynch@reason.com

"Looks like you're happily married," said National Right to Work vice president of propaganda Stephan Gleason, as he patted my slowly growing belly. Gleason had just exited the stage at the 28th annual Conservative Political Action Committee (GPAC) convention, a three-day staging ground for the grassroots of the vast right-wing conspiracy. He told the packed ballroom at the Crystal Gateway Marriot in Arlington, Virginia, that today's AFL-CIO is not their father's union and warned that the group recently reversed its opposition to communism. Wagged Gleason, "No word yet whether CI stands for Communism Is OK."

Spirits were definitely high among the 3,500 conservative activists attending this year's conference. This is the sort of crowd that jumps to its feet at every mention of Jesse Helms' name. "You have to keep in mind, for eight years no one in this room has had a call returned from anyone in the administration," a GPAC spokesman informed me. He also told me that he's often heard the word ebullient used to describe the mood. I knew I was being spun, since many in this crowd, including myself, can't even pronounce that word, let alone spell it or drop it into casual conversation. So they may not be ebullient per se, but they've got plenty to be excited about. They've got control (or something very close to it) of Congress, the White House, and the Supreme Court for the first time since Strom Thurmond's hair was naturally fluorescent orange.

Young America's Foundation was passing out Ronald Reagan calendars, gratis. Conservative babe Ann Coulter, who two years ago reportedly erupted into tears after she was mistreated onstage here, was cheerily hawking her book High Crimes and Misdemeanors for a mere $5, with a signature and a bit of light conversation thrown in for free. "I've already read it actually," 31-year-old Kevin Mooney of Titusville, New Jersey, told me while waiting to get Coulter's autograph. "I'm just buying it to get her signature."

Everyone present was anticipating three days of conservative peace, love, and understanding. Where else can one take in a lecture by Alan Keyes and informational booths set up by the likes of the Christian Coalition, the Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms, and the Jesse Helms Center Foundation (all of whom were cosponsors of the event)? At one point, I found myself staring at the mug of B-1 Bob Dornan, the...