Happily ever after.

• Author: Puterbaugh, Dolores T.
• Position: PARTING THOUGHTS - Essay

"BEING MIDDLE-AGED ROCKS," announces one of my T-shirts. No one my age likes this particular garment. They resist "middle age." I am 45, and my three living grandparents are 89, 93, and 97. At about half their ages, "middle aged" does not seem like a stretch. If we push middle age much older, people will be retiring en masse in "middle age," which is silly--and silly is real. Some members of Generation X face imminent retirement. I recently counseled a couple who, despite the issues that brought them to therapy, were in great agreement about how wonderful it will be in a few years when they retire from their government jobs--at about age 50. Retirement equals decades of recess. Like KISS, they intend to, "rock and roll all night, and party every day," and, so they head-bang along with the radio and fantasize about having all day to play golf in funny-colored pants. It is all a little too weird.

Among the books Nana kept at her house when I was very small was the cautionary tale of Nancy, who wanted it to be vacation all the time. A wise relative obliged her for a week. At the end, Nancy--exhausted and queasy from too many carnival rides, circus outings, sunburns, greasy foods, and candy--could not get out of bed. She had learned there is such a thing as too much vacation. Of course, this was the early 1960s and the culture was different, although human nature is not.

I am not joining the various debates on whether it is selfish for baby boomers to retire and bum up financial resources, deprive the economy of more tax dollars, contribute to industrial brain drain, etc. Admittedly, I do not understand economics nearly as well as I should. I am concerned with the emotional, mental, and spiritual health of individuals and families. Psychology has done a fairly thorough job of exploring healthy, versus unhealthy, adjustments to retirement. Generally, the findings are not a surprise given what we know about human development and the brief history of retirement.

Retirement is a relatively new construct. Our ancestors died of illness or violence; few slipped meekly into quiet old age. Agrarian families shifted duties across generations, and tradesmen became too old for heavy labor, but a morbidly selected specific age to downshift to passivity is an unfortunate modern development. Our standardized retirement age, selected in the 1930s, was based on expected lifespan; Uncle Sam hoped you would kick the bucket before collecting any Social Security...