What happens when grandparents take over?

When it comes to raising children, a second chance means a great deal to grandparents. A survey at Ball State University, Muncie, Ind., of 144 grandparents currently raising their grandchildren found that second-time parenting skills are different, emphasizing greater love and control.

"When grandparents are forced into the role of parent, they have many years of memories to draw upon," notes Nancy Hoffman, a doctoral student who conducted the research. "They have time to reflect, remembering what worked and what didn't work."

The study found that 54% of second-time parents were raising grandchildren differently, compared to 33% who said their tactics were the same. "As individuals progress from being first-time parents to raising their grandchildren, they change the way they do things. They shift away from being low love/low control towards being more authoritative, which includes higher love and more control.

"As grandparents grow older, they recognize there is an obligation to be more accepting. They recognize that children need love, but also need rules, limits, and boundaries. The values haven't changed over the years, but the awareness of reaching those values has."

While a minority indicated that first-time parenting skills were still effective, potential problems are far different. Grandparents often have to deal with children who have disabilities stemming from parental drug abuse, neglect, and physical abuse.

The...