Governor Goodhair goes to Washington.
Author | Hightower, Jim |
Position | VOX POPULIST - Secretary of energy Rick Perry |
Perk up people, for I bring you tidings of great joy: Governor "Oops" is back!
Yes, Rick Perry, the former Texas governor who specialized in putting the "goober" in gubernatorial, has emerged from well-earned obscurity in rural Texas to join the menagerie of characters in The Donald Show. For us lovers of low political comedy, Perry is literally a gift from on high--not from heaven but the dizzying heights of Trump Tower. That's where the orange-haired Impresario-in-chief held tryouts for his Washington cast, before settling on Perry, the slapstick-perfect choice for his bizarre cabinet.
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Who can forget Perry's classic "oops moment" during his first failed run for the White House? Campaigning as a far-out, rightwing slasher of government services, he boldly declared in a televised debate that he would eliminate three federal agencies: The Department of Commerce, the Department of Education, and . . . and . . . and, alas, as a national TV audience watched in horror, Rick's brain just could not recall the third federal department he planned to kill off.
He was roundly ridiculed as being dumber than a dust bunny. But now--proving that being even quasi-smart is not a requirement for getting a job in the Trump Administration--Perry has been hired to lead the very agency, the Department of Energy, that was third on his elimination list! He is now in charge of the $32 billion department he couldn't name during the 2012 presidential race.
While briefly running for President again this go-round, Perry assailed Trump as a "cancer on conservatism" and a "barking carnival act." Now he's a tail-wagging dog in Donnie's carnival.
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Dubbed "Governor Goodhair" by the late, great columnist Molly Ivins, Perry tumbled from his peak as governor of Texas to being a twice-failed GOP presidential wannabe, then ended up as a reject on the television show for has-been celebrities, Dancing with the Stars.
But--resurrection!--having kissed the ring of President Trump, Perry is now lifted from the lowly role of twinkle-toed TV hoofer to being in charge of our nation's nukes!
It's a position that...
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