Going home is hard to do.

After three months of new classes, friends, experiences, and freedoms, first-time college students and their families are in for a real shock come holiday recess. Going home for the first time, or even the longest time, since school began can be confusing and trying for everyone, explains Kendall Lott, director of the Redford University Center for Counseling and Student Development.

The problems associated with going home affect freshmen the most, but it can be a problem at any stage in one's college career or beyond. However, certain measures can be taken ahead of time to make things more comfortable and less ambivalent for all. Although students may be confused about the role they play in the family, interactions with family members still can be enjoyable. With patience and compromise, the holidays can be a time to celebrate.

The ordeal of returning home can apply to all vacations, but it is more difficult during extended recesses. During weekends and short breaks, Lott notes, "everyone smiles and is happy; there is little time for conflict."

Several factors can contribute to disputes among family members. The students have been in school a while without having someone tell them what to do; they return home, not used to structure. Parents still have expectations--curfew, car limitations, chores--while their offspring have new outlooks on their role.

Responsibility for the "testing of boundaries" is in the hands of both parties. students test their limitations and constraints to show their parents that they are growing up and no longer need them for structure. Phrases such as "You still treat me like a child" often are heard in these situations. According to Lott, "Sometimes students will do...