Giving more important than getting.

• Position: Christmas Presents - Gifts and Santa should not be overemphasized to children - Toy safety important

Whether it is trying to please children by buying every toy on their wish list or explaining the role of Santa Claus, a Purdue University, West Lafayette, Ind., child development expert says it is important to keep the spirit of giving a priority this holiday season. "Start with the giving, not the getting:' suggests Judith Myers-Walls. "I think kids need to be prepared to accept surprises, and parents should not feet obligated to provide everything...."

Often, the thoughts of getting presents originate with Santa Claus, but Myers-Walls counters there are ways to include Santa in the holiday season without focusing on what gifts he leaves under the tree. "Talk about the real St. Nicholas and focus on his generosity. This also will provide a good opportunity to talk about the history of the holidays with your children. But don't use Santa as a threat to make children behave."

The way other adults discuss Santa Claus also can have an effect on a child's perception of what's important--getting or giving, Myers-Walls contends. "Very often in social settings we ask kids, 'What do you want Santa to bring you?' or 'What did Santa bring you?' First, we should not assume all families believe in Santa. Second, we should not focus on the getting. Ask the child, 'What kind of Christmas gifts did you get someone?' or 'What did you do with...