Giving kids a fighting chance.

• Author: Stanley, Paul
• Position: Education

THE NAMES OF THE MISSING are as common as those of the children who live next door: Samantha Runnion, Polly Klaas, Jimmy Ryce, Daniel VanDam, Jennifer Short, Erica Pratt. As parents, we can't help but stop and feel an overwhelming mix of fear and silent gratitude that our loved ones are not among the missing, and an increased uneasiness regarding our parental responsibility to protect and prepare our most precious possessions--our children.

We convince ourselves we have done enough. We bury our unspoken doubts under common phrases.... "It's usually a family member that is the abductor, and our family is normal and harmless...." "I've taught them about strangers. I know they will never go with someone they don't know...." "Our community is safe. Those horrid things don't happen here." Teaching children to avoid strangers is the basic method for preventing child abduction--responsible parents from Maine to California have multiple conversations with their offspring to educate them about staying sale from a potential kidnapping. Yet, children continue to be abducted at an alarming rate.

I've taught my three kids about "stranger danger." I've shown them all the "tricks" that abductors use like "Help me find my puppy"; "Your mom sent me to pick you up," etc. I've tested them. I've role-played with them. I've done as much as a parent can do--or so I thought.

I saw a television program involving an undercover camera, playgrounds, schools, and a man who claimed he could get any child he wanted to go with him. To every watching parent's horror, that's exactly what he did. Not my kid, I thought. My six-year-old is too well-trained to fall for that. To prove it, I set him up. During a summer fireworks event, his own dad sent a stranger over to coax him off ... and when my son walked away with that stranger, my heart was in my throat. My son knew it was wrong to go because, the minute he did, he began crying, but it was too late by then. The sickening, helpless feeling that overcame me is something, as a parent, you don't ever want to experience. I assure you, the phone call to you from the police department is simply unimaginable.

There is a sad reality in all of this: If an adult wants your kid, he'll get your kid; after all, they're just kids! So, what can parents do? Personally, I don't want to know about keeping a police file of my child's fingerprints or DNA. I don't want a tracking device in my child's watch. I don't want to imagine my son's...