You've probably heard the old idea about work that, if it's something you would do without being paid, it's a passion and a true calling. And there is probably some truth to that. But I want you to look a little deeper.
What are your motives for pursuing this passion? Maybe it isn't the pay. But it could be something just as gratifying.
Let me give you an example. Years ago, when I relocated to Orlando, Florida to work at Disney, I made a list of the city's key leaders. These were the men and women whose names carried enough weight to open doors and close deals. My goal was to leverage their community status and, in turn, gain access to their contacts--the movers and shakers. I showed up at every event like Johnny-on-the-spot, trying to be seen and heard, but never connecting with people. Why? Because my motives were cunning, and they could sense it a mile away. It was obvious that I wanted something out of these relationships. Something for me.
It was when I began working with a life coach that I managed to change my course. He saw right through me. He immediately recognized my performance-driven behaviors as a need for external validation in order to feel confident. It was clear that I was deriving my self-worth from what others thought about me.
Someone had sold me a bag filled with holes. I'd achieved some measure of success in my small sphere of influence; however, if the truth be told, I was a wannabe famous person who was overexposed but underdeveloped in character.
My life coach helped me learn that permanent and real validation comes from within. When your confidence is unshakeable and unaffected by the way others react to you, this...