Rx for the times.

• Author: Gorman, Leta
• Position: Humorous newsletter to reduce stress

This article originally appeared in the March 2009 Drug, Device and Biotechnology Committee Newsletter.

"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."

Arnold H. Glasgow

Members of the Drug, Device and Biotech Committee represent, among others, pharmaceutical companies who manufacture a vast array of products that improve the quality of peoples' lives. In these trying economic times, where virtually no one is immune from the stressors of money and the economy, some of us may find ourselves seeking out the benefits of our clients' products to help alleviate the impact that stress is having on our lives. Although I am not a doctor and even though these newsletters typically discuss relevant legal issues, I have chosen to use this month's newsletter to offer a prescription of sorts of my own to those who choose to read on-laughter. Although there are dozens of legal issues that I could have written about, I chose to share these witty court orders instead, in the hopes that, in the end, you will chuckle, laugh or just smile, and, even if only for a moment, put aside the stress of your daily lives and relax.

Rock, Paper, Scissors

A judge in Florida ordered lawyers in a case to engage in what the judge called "a new form of alternative dispute resolution"-a game of rock, paper, scissors. The order, issued by U.S. District Judge Gregory Presnell, directs the parties to meet at a neutral location or, if they cannot agree on one, on the courthouse steps. The order reads, in part:

This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiffs Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion--the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts--it is ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of "rock, paper, scissors." The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 ... (1) Court Ordered Lunch

In this case, counsel for plaintiff asked defense counsel out to lunch to discuss some pending discovery issues. Defense...