Fixing Stupidity and Fostering Connection.

• Author: Ryckman, Lisa

Nov. 15, 2022

State Legislatures News

We've all been there: Somebody says something so profoundly, utterly, mind-numbingly stupid that the natural reaction is, "How could you possibly think that?"

"There's a very clear subtext: You're an idiot," communications expert Eric Bailey says. "We think it all the time. When people get defensive, they get defensive because we just insulted their intelligence."

Bailey, president of the Bailey Strategic Innovation Group and author of "The Cure for Stupidity: Using Brain Science to Explain Irrational Behavior at Work," told an NCSL Base Camp session that the "I'm right, you're wrong" approach ends any chance for connection.

The 'I'm right, you're wrong' approach ends any chance for connection.--Eric Bailey

"We are losing the ability to communicate with each other," he says. "We're cutting people out of our lives, over and over. We end up surrounded by people who think what we think and know what we know. We stop learning. We stop growing. That's where we're headed as a society."

Bailey says the "illusion of certainty" makes people believe they're always right--even when they're not.

"The only things in life we can learn are things we don't yet know. We need to actively seek out that which we do not know," he says. "That's your opportunity for growth. Be open, actively seeking out things you don't know. That's where we grow."

Bailey recommends practicing "radical curiosity: It's trying to understand the human across from us before expecting them to understand us. What's their motivation? What's driving them? Their why. And then--expect to be understood."

Bailey flashed an image on the screen of a shoe: Is it pink and white or gray and teal? The group overwhelmingly saw gray and teal, even though the shoe was actually pink and white. Why? It was bathed in a green light.

"So, who's right? It doesn't matter. What matters is that we perceive things differently,"...