Finding the antidote: how to neutralize the toxic member of your team.

• Author: Goodsell, Britt
• Position: EntrepreneurEdqe

The number one reason you should deal with that toxic person at work? Counterintuitively, says Joseph Grenny, business social scientist at VitalSmarts, you should do it because you deserve it. While some think confronting a toxic person is about sacrificing for the team or the greater cause, Grenny says it's really about being responsible for your wellbeing and emotional health.

"Being around people who are dysfunctional is a huge drain on our quality of life," says Grenny.

Grenny, co-author of Crucial Conversations, has seen it all when it comes to toxic co-workers: the conniving team member, the boss who bullies employees, the co-worker who always plays the victim.

If you have never worked with a toxic person, Grenny says to consider yourself lucky. While there's not a clinical definition for a toxic person, it could be someone who bullies, spreads gossip or is consistently negative. When someone's behavior creates misery for others at work, chances are that person is toxic.

Group dysfunction

The problem usually isn't the toxic person, though. The problem often stems from the dozen people around the toxic person who enable the behavior to continue. Basically, toxic behavior continues in the workplace when there's active cooperation from people who think they're victims--but who are actually enablers.

The most important thing to remember is that you're responsible for your own boundaries, Grenny says. "You have to decide what the effect is on you."

Sometimes toxicity is a passive-aggressive boss, for example. Grenny says he once sat down with a CEO for a coaching session. The CEO started going through his employee list. When he got to certain names, he told Grenny he wished he could fire them based on poor performance.

"It struck me as odd--because he can do that," Grenny says.

And yet, the CEO hadn't taken action. He spent years only wishing he could fire these employees, and instead punished them in other ways: He wouldn't make eye contact with them in meetings. He often cut them off when they spoke. Or he rolled his eyes while the employees had the floor.

This passive-aggressive approach "sent a message in the team that created enormous conflict," says Grenny. "It's surprising how many CEOs I've worked with who run incredibly functional teams, but who don't deal with accountability."

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