Finding Holidays' Spiritual Meaning.

The deluge of advertisements and commercialism that pervade the holiday season makes it difficult for parents to teach children about the fundamental messages underlying the celebrations, according to George Scarlett, an assistant professor who teaches a course on spiritual development in children at Tufts University, Medford, Mass. The focus on shopping has made it hard for families to stress the rituals, connections, and traditions that are so important to the holidays, he maintains. "As parents, we really have to work harder than we should to keep certain values in hand in our homes, and we have to fight to find ways that those values get expressed."

He argues that, in the stress and rush of the season and the need to shop, the spiritual dimension of the holiday season is being lost. "We don't have clearly defined communities that have identities about spiritual issues. We have to make those communities on our own and find those traditions. Family life is often not about being together, but going hither and yon, rushing to this soccer match or that movie. Holiday rituals, such as tree-trimming or opening stockings together, are potentially rich in opportunities for families to do something that means something to everyone. [They] can be intensely emotional, exciting, and fun."

Further complicating family life are such innovations as the modern-day letter to Santa, wherein youngsters can register at some stores to sign up for gifts they want. "Parents are eager to get kids what they want, which isn't such a bad thing, but they don't want to spoil them. You don't want children feeling they are entitled to whatever they want. The anxiety these registries create comes from...