Find Your Ease

• Author: Jeena Cho
• Pages: 28-29

Find Your Ease

Relaxing the anxious lawyer brain takes practice

By Jeena Cho

I think about getti ng into a car accident or catch

myself checking the weather, hoping for a really bad

storm so I won’t have to go to the hearing: Thi s is what

a lawyer shared w ith me during a coaching call. It’s a

feeling that’s also fami liar to me—one that I never shared

with other lawyers u ntil I realized that keeping

a sti upper lip only perpet uates the problem.

According to a 2016 study by the Hazelden Bett y

Ford Foundation and the ABA Commission on Law yer

Assistance P rograms, 19 percent of lawyers exper ience

anxiety a nd 23 percent experience chronic stress.

I, too, fell into the categor y of lawyers experiencing

overwhelming stress a nd anxiety. But, like most

lawyers, I didn’t give much thought to

being proactive and looking for to ols

to let go of the stress and an xiety.

I lived for years in a consta nt cycle

of exhaustion and tension. I as sumed

if I could just work harder, get through

my cases faster, do more with le ss time,

these issues would resolve themselves. It

didn’t seem abnormal that I’d fantasize

about catastrophic events happen ing so

that I wouldn’t have to go to the mediation,

court heari ng, client meeting or other

work-related, anxiety-provoking events.

OPTIMAL CONDITIONS

Recently I led a mindfu lness

retreat for 25 lawyers f rom across

the country. The theme was “Find

Your Ease.” The word ease means

to relax one’s e orts.

A retreat is a wonderful oppor-

tunity to disr upt everyday habits

in a new environment. It’s a chance

to learn and prac tice how to relax

the constant e ort s we tend to

engage in. It’s a chance to create

new habits and try di erent tools

to see which ones work to lessen

feelings of stress and an xiety.

It’s common to get to a

retreat only to fi nd yoursel f

full of anx iety or stress-

inducing thought s. The

mind doesn’t have an o

button, and just because

you’re sitting at the beach

overlooking the endless blue

ocean doesn’t mean your mind

can’t be back at the o ce f rantically working away.

I like to approach relax ing the mind the same way

I approach gardening. I can ma ke sure to tend to the

plant with just the right a mount of water, en rich the

soil just so, space it properly, keep an eye out for signs

of disease—but ultimately, how well the plant does or

how much fruit it produces isn’t up to me. Similarly, I

can regula rly engage in activities that create t he optimal

conditions so the mind can rela x but still recognize that

might not happen.

Getting to k now your own mind and fi guring out

what helps it to relax takes a w illingness to get to know

yourself—a willingness t o try di erent things and see

what works.

One of the many benefi ts of having

a regular mind fulness and meditation

practice is exper iencing less stress and

anxiety. However, these practices won’t

give you instant resu lts. Similar to exercising

the physical body, meditation practic e will

train the mind over time. One of t he most

common challenges begin ning meditators

have is that they notice more stress a nd

anxiety dur ing the session.

It’s a frustrating exper ience when the

mind doesn’t cooperate and continues to

work overtime when you’re trying to rela x.

You sit down, eyes closed, paying attention

to your breath, and you reali ze the mind

feels like there’s a tornado going through it .

What does happen over time is that we

can learn not to a llow these thoughts to

pull us away. We can learn to catch ourselves

when we’re engaged in these destruct ive

thoughts and return ba ck to this moment.

We can learn to see the thoughts for what

they are—a habit of the mind. Over ti me,

we can replace the broken record w ith a

more pleasant t une.

INCREASED RESILIENCE

Resilience refers to one’s ability to

survive and t hrive when faced with life’s

many stressors. We can lear n to be

more resilient through deliberate

practices, including fost ering

deep, meaningfu l relation-

ships with others; changi ng

how we think about life’s

obstacles; accepti ng that

changes are a natura l part

On

Well-

Being

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF THE JC LAW GROUP

Practice

28 || ABA JOURNAL SEPTEMBER 2018

“SELF-CARE PRACTICES

HELP US TO BE MORE

RESILIENT AND

EFFECTIVE, AN D

BETTER AT KEEP ING

OVERWHELMING

STRESS AND ANXIETY

AT B AY.”

— JEENA CHO