$ettling $quabbles between couples.

• Position: Marriage

Opposites may frequently attract in marriage, but when it comes to money, major rifts can undermine a couple's financial stability. The key is not to try to eliminate the differences, but to understand and work through them, recommends the Financial Planning Association, Denver, Colo. "I tell clients that we have to find ways to honor the feelings behind their stated goals," says FPA's Melody Kollath. "If we're not addressing both her need to save and his desire to travel, for example, we are going to have trouble someplace."

The first step is to have couples explore their differences, which can be a challenge. Having each spouse separately complete financial data and risk tolerance questionnaires is a common approach because it can turn up conflicting perspectives and goals. Some planners probe deeper into their clients' money personalities by using word associations or asking questions such as, if you only have 10 years to live, in good health, what would you do?

Planners also try to coax the more passive spouse to express his or her money views. Victoria Collins of Keller Coad & Collins, Irvine, Calif., recalls, "One couple I worked with had the worst time talking about money. We decided that every Friday for 45 minutes they would discuss money. It would be a time with no blame and that they would stay on topic."

Once both partners are comfortable speaking about their financial differences, the next step is to seek common ground. For instance, say a couple has conflicts over how...