Establishing and Maintaining Control

• Author: Victoria Pynchon/Joe Kraynak (With)
• Profession: Mediator, author, speaker, negotiation trainer, consultant, and attorney with 25 years of experience in commercial litigation practice/Professional writer who has contributed to numerous For Dummies books
• Pages: 159-172

Chapter 9

Establishing and

Maintaining Control

In This Chapter

▶ Establishing an atmosphere that’s conducive to mediation

▶ Working with angry, uncooperative, or deceptive parties

▶ Exposing hidden interests to help resolve a dispute

▶ Guiding the parties to impasse so the bargaining can begin

P

arties need to engage in disputes to resolve underlying conflicts, but

stonewalling, angry outbursts, bullying, and other such behaviors are

counterproductive. The goal is to have a controlled blast, one that enables

each party to express his emotions and grievances in a way that doesn’t

injure or threaten the other party or undermine the mediation process.

This chapter explains how to establish and maintain a suitable atmosphere

for mediation and to deal effectively with difficult situations and people.

Setting the Tone

Early on in every mediation, you need to create an atmosphere of hope and

safety — hope that the problem can be resolved and safety from physical or

psychological harm and fear of the unknown. Without hope, the parties won’t

sit together long enough to brainstorm solutions. And without a sense of

safety, they won’t open up about the issues that need to be resolved.

The following sections explain various methods for creating and maintaining

an atmosphere of hope and safety.