Empty nest syndrome: not always a bad thing.

• Author: Bohi, Heidi
• Position: GENERAL

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When the last of his two children left home, Neal Fried first threatened to adopt a child. When that didn't happen, AND he continued to be depressed, his friends told him to get a dog. Although he didn't resort to taking on either of these new responsibilities, one full year since both his daughter, Ruby, 23, and son, Evan, 19, have been gone, he says that joining the ranks of Alaska's empty nesters has not been easy.

"They don't arrive at 4 a.m.," he says after more than two decades of life being all about the kids. "They just don't arrive at all."

A well-known economist for the state, Fried and his wife Mary are just two of many Alaska parents who find themselves adjusting to this transition, despite the satisfaction of seeing the fruits of their labor realized. "It's very different when there are only two of you left. It changes the dynamics of the household," he adds.

FATHERS HURT, TOO

While most studies have focused on mothers, researchers have found that they don't take the children's departure any harder than fathers. In fact, fathers often have a harder time adjusting because they are less emotionally prepared. Besides the fact he doesn't have to worry about his children as much on a daily basis, he's not convinced of the other lifestyle benefits that becoming an empty nester offers.

The American family is becoming more complex and diverse. We now have "helicopter parents" who hover over every move their child makes, "boomerang babies" for children who treat their parents' homes less like an empty nest and more like a revolving door, and "half-full nests," which are empty nesters whose time is filled by parents who need care. Also with remarriage, many empty nesters have stepchildren or "half-nests."

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'70s TERM

Psychologists coined the term "empty nest syndrome" in the 1970s to define the sense of loss parents often feel when their children leave home. Studies show mothers and fathers within the same family tend to experience similar feelings when their children leave home, though the concept is more stereotypically applied to the mother's experience. The term also applies to the changing nature of the parental partnerships, as they find themselves with extra space--a physical and emotional--formerly occupied by a child.

Although the Census Bureau does not recognize the term "empty nesters," Fried says anecdotal information and some statistics are indicative of just how formidable a group...