Republicans Eat Their Own.

• Author: Durst, Will
• Position: Off the Map - Viewpoint essay

I'm a little worried about the Republicans. I am. My job is to mock and scoff and taunt, and these days it's almost too easy. Like slam dunking from a stepladder. Growing up, I was taught you don't kick people when they're down. Which I'm sure qualifies me as a weenie in their book. Witness the retractable 8-penny serrated hobnails in the toes of Karl Rove's boots. But lately to imply the GOP is a tad disorganized is like musing that Don Imus might not be first choice to play Santa at the 2007 NAACP Christmas Party. Not only isn't this your father's Republican Party. It's not even George Bush's father's Republican Party.

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Over at the White House, the President's head was in danger of snapping right off as he swiveled to and fro explaining why he refused to sign the $124 billion supplemental war funding bill being sent to him by the Democratic Congress. Initially, he blamed the bill's surfeit of Democratic earmarks. Then a couple of his own earmarks were found stapled to it, not to mention the scads of Republican legislative post-it notes attached to the $94 billion supplemental war funding bill he did sign last June. Causing him to switch tactics faster than a fifth-year art school undergrad disrobes at Burning Man. Then he said he wouldn't sign the bill because of its artificial timetable for Iraqi troop withdrawal. Apparently he's only interested in an organic timetable. An heirloom tomato and tofu timetable.

Speaking of Iraq, that's where Representative Mike Pence put his foot in his mouth so deep, his Kevlar loafer surely got wrapped in his own lower intestine. He compared "a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime" to his heavily fortified trip to a cordoned-off market in Baghdad. Funny, I grew up in the Midwest. Totally missed the whole armored Humvee, sharpshooters on roofs, bulletproof vest outdoor market shopping deal.

On Capitol Hill you've got Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman. And please stop with the Independent crap. The man is such a lapdog of the Administration, if you listen real close to C-SPAN, you can hear his...