Don't worry, be set.

• Author: Clinton, Kate
• Position: Political humor - Unplugged - Column

In a study of 2,000 pairs of identical twins, two psychologists at the University of Minnesota have theorized that a "happiness set point" is determined genetically and randomly, without relation to education, income, professional achievement, or marital status. I'm nervous.

They postulate that events as different as losing a loved one, or getting a promotion, can affect people's basic moods for three to six months. Then they return to their usual emotional fulcrum. If that set point is also shown to be unaffected by attendance at comedy concerts, I might be downsized by two guys from Minnesota.

Oddly enough, I am not panicked. I recall Pons and Fleischman, those cold-fusion physicists with names reminiscent of face cream and margarine, who used ordinary household items and tap water for their discovery. For a while there, I was carefully monitoring the steeping of sun tea in my kitchen. It was the only sane thing to do. But since P and F were never able to duplicate their results, I gradually relaxed. This time, I'm not going to let the Minnesota twins get me too overwrought.

But I wonder: Is there a national happiness set point? Everyone in the media is thrilled to be hot on the trail of the anonymous author of Primary Colors, but when the truth comes out, reporters clear their deep throats and protest that a journalist has lied. I believe he was protecting his sources: himself.

Joe Klein protested he didn't realize it would cause such a ruckus. Maybe instead of Anonymous, he should have used the pen name Disingenuous. Just in time, Pinocchio, the story of a lying little boy and a man who loved him, was re-released, and everyone was happy again.

Meantime, economists had their happiness set points bouncing all over the place...