Don't be a diet saboteur.

• Position: How dieters can politely decline more food, and how friends of dieters can help - Your Life

You finally have made the decision to manage your weight, but friends and/or relatives insist you sample their new cookies or get upset when you say "no" to a second helping. "Most individuals aren't deliberately trying to interfere with your weight management plan," notes Randall Flanery, assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior and director of the Eating Disorders Program, St. Louis University School of Medicine. "They're well-meaning, but just don't understand what's involved in losing weight or how hard you might be trying."

It is particularly hard in America to refuse food because so many social interactions revolve around it. If you want to celebrate, welcome, or console someone, food usually is the method. According to Flanery, there are numerous ways a person gracefully can refuse food and potential saboteurs can guard against unintentionally hampering those efforts.

Tips for weight managers

* Acknowledge the sentiment when someone offers food, but be straightforward about your situation: "The birthday cake is beautiful. I can tell you put a lot of thought into it, but I'm really trying to watch what I eat. I'm sure everyone will enjoy it." Taking a small piece is another option.

* Anticipate who is likely to interfere with your plans. For example, if you have dinner with your parents every week and are expected to fill your plate until it is heaping, cut them off at the pass. Tell them ahead of time you are trying to watch your weight and need all the help you can get.

* Anticipate conflicts. In addition to watching what you eat, you probably are trying to exercise more. This can take time away from other interests as well as individuals who may resent it. Explain what changes you anticipate and attempt to work out...