Do Positive Feelings Hurt? Disaggregating Positive and Negative Components of Intergenerational Ambivalence

• Author: Megan Gilligan,Karl Pillemer,Scott Feld,J. Jill Suitor
• Date: 01 February 2015
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12146
• Published date: 01 February 2015

M G Iowa State University

J. J S  S F Purdue University∗

K P Cornell University∗∗

Do Positive Feelings Hurt? Disaggregating Positive

and Negative Components of Intergenerational

Ambivalence

Ambivalence has become an important concep-

tual development in the study of parent–adult

child relations, with evidence highlighting

that intergenerational relationships are char-

acterized by a mix of positive and negative

components. Recent studies have shown that

ambivalence has detrimental consequences for

both parents’ and adult children’s psychological

well-being. The underlying assumption of this

line of research is that psychological distress

results from holding simultaneous positive and

negative feelings toward a parent or child. The

authors question this assumption and explore

alternative interpretations by disaggregating

the positive and negative dimensions commonly

used to create indirect measures of intergen-

erational ambivalence. Data for the analyses

were collected from 254 older mothers and

a randomly selected adult child from each

of the families. The ndings suggest that the

Department of Human Development and Family Studies,

Iowa State University,2330 Palmer HDFS Building, Ames,

IA 50011 (mgilliga@iastate.edu).

∗Department of Sociology, Purdue University, 700 W. State

St., West Lafayette IN 47907.

∗∗Department of Human Development, MVR Hall, G44,

Cornell University,Ithaca, NY 14850.

Key Words: ambivalence, intergenerational relationships,

parent–child relationships.

negative component is primarily responsible

for the association between indirect measures

of ambivalence and psychological well-being.

Implications of these ndings for the study of

intergenerational ambivalence are discussed.

Twooverarching themes have guided theory and

research on intergenerational relations across the

past three decades. The rst theme emphasizes

family solidarity and highlights the role of adult

children and older parents as primary sources

of emotional and instrumental support for one

another (Bengtson, Gans, Putney, & Silverstein,

2009; Silverstein & Bengtson, 1997). In con-

trast, the second theme focuses on the potential

for conict and estrangement between older par-

ents and their adult children (Suitor, Sechrist,

Gilligan, & Pillemer, 2011). The concept of

intergenerational ambivalence wasdeveloped to

integrate these positive and negativedimensions

of parent–adult child relations (Lüscher & Pille-

mer, 1998; Pillemer & Lüscher, 2004).

A hallmark of ambivalencetheory is the asser-

tion that relationships between older parents and

adult children are characteristically ambivalent;

that is, rather than being based uniformly in

either solidarity or conict, intergenerational

relationships involve a fundamental interplay

between positive and negative elements (Pille-

mer & Lüscher, 2004). The theory proposes that

family relationships are characterized by such

Journal of Marriage and Family 77 (February 2015): 261–276 261

DOI:10.1111/jomf.12146

262 Journal of Marriage and Family

simultaneous positive and negative feelings in

part because of structural contradictions inher-

ent in family roles (Connidis & McMullin, 2002;

Pillemer & Suitor, 2005). In research conducted

over the past decade, studies have conrmed

that ambivalence (measured in a variety of

ways) is indeed a common characteristic of

parent–child relations in later life (Fingerman,

Pitzer, Lefkowitz, Birditt, & Mroczek, 2008;

Kiecolt, Blieszner, & Salva, 2011; Lowenstein,

2007; Pillemer et al., 2007; Pillemer, Munsch,

Fuller-Rowell, Rifn, & Suitor, 2012; Suitor,

Gilligan, & Pillemer, 2011; Wilson, Shuey,

Elder, & Wickrama, 2006).

Most research to date has focused on demon-

strating the extent of intergenerational ambiva-

lence and on establishing potential predictors of

ambivalent feelings (cf. Birditt, Fingerman, &

Zarit, 2010; Pillemer et al., 2007, 2012; Wilson

et al., 2006). Recently, scholars have begun to

address an additional question: Does ambiva-

lence in older parent–adult child relationships

affect individual outcomes? On one hand, some

scholars (Lüscher, 2004; Lüscher & Pillemer,

1998) have postulated that ambivalence is so

fundamental to intergenerational relations that

it may be a normative experience rather than

an upsetting one. Furthermore, some theories

of sociological ambivalence suggest that mixed

feelings provide greater freedom for individuals

and expand opportunities for action (Coser,

1966) rather than creating distress.

In contrast, empirical evidence has demon-

strated that ambivalent feelings toward one’s

parents or adult children have detrimental,

rather than positive or neutral, consequences

on well-being. Specically, recent studies have

found higher ambivalence scores to be associ-

ated with greater psychological distress among

older parents and their offspring (Fingerman

et al., 2008; Kiecolt et al., 2011; Suitor, Gilligan,

& Pillemer, 2011).

One question that has been raised regard-

ing the association between intergenerational

ambivalence and psychological well-being

is whether this nding is actually due to the

presence of contradictory feelings (Fingerman

et al., 2008; Fingerman, Sechrist, & Birditt,

2012; Suitor, Gilligan, & Pillemer, 2011). In this

article, we explore whether, alternatively, the

association might be explained primarily by the

negative dimension of ambivalence, rather than

the combination of negative and positive dimen-

sions. To examine this question, we use data

that were collected from 254 older mothers and

a randomly selected adult child from each of the

same families as part of the Within-Family Dif-

ferences Study (WFDS; http://web.ics.purdue.

edu/∼jsuitor/within-family-differences-study/).

The WFDS provides an opportunity to test

alternative explanations for the association

between intergenerational ambivalence and

psychological well-being found by previous

investigations (Fingerman et al., 2008; Kiecolt

et al., 2011; Suitor, Gilligan, & Pillemer, 2011)

because it shares two central design elements

with this set of studies. The rst common ele-

ment is that the calculation of ambivalence is

based on the Grifn measure, developed by

Thompson, Zanna, and Grifn (1995). This

indirect measure uses individuals’ indepen-

dent positive and negative assessments of their

relationships to create a numeric value that

represents the balance between these two senti-

ments. Using this method, a high ambivalence

score occurs only when similarly high levels of

both positive and negative feelings are present.

The second common design element is that,

consistent with the preponderance of research on

intergenerational ambivalence, this set of studies

measures positive and negative dimensions of

the relationship using a combination of items

that capture affective, perceptual, and behavioral

components (Birditt et al., 2010; Fingerman &

Hay, 2004; Fingerman, Hay, & Birditt, 2004;

Ha & Ingersoll-Dayton, 2008; Kiecolt et al.,

2011; Silverstein, Gans, Lowenstein, Giarrusso,

& Bengtson, 2010; Wilson et al., 2006; Wilson,

Shuey, & Elder, 2003). These items, which

emphasize some combination of feelings of

emotional closeness, expressive support, and

pleasant interactions as positive dimensions

of the relationship and perceptions of conict,

criticism, and high demands as negative dimen-

sions, are commonly used in the literature on

family relations to assess positive and negative

relationship quality (Fingerman et al., 2008;

Fingerman, Chen, Hay, Cichy, & Lefkowitz,

2006; Lendon, Silverstein, & Giarrusso, 2014;

Rossi & Rossi, 1990; Silverstein et al., 2010;

Suitor, Gilligan, & Pillemer, 2011).

Thus, we were able to disaggregate compo-

nents common to all three studies of intergen-

erational ambivalence and psychological well-

being (Fingerman et al., 2008, 2012; Suitor,

Gilligan, & Pillemer, 2011) to test alternative

explanations for the association between these

constructs.