House divided: in Washington, even apartment-hunting is partisan.

• Author: Sullivan, Amy
• Position: 10 MIILES SQUARE

Americans around the country are familiar with the housing crunch: Prices keep rising, occupancy rates are at near-record highs, and--particularly in major cities--competition for those rare vacancies can be fierce. In pursuit of a roof over her head, the typical house hunter may find herself setting aside visions of the perfect urban loft and considering a less-than-convenient location, no parking, an EZ-Bake-sized oven, and an inescapable dog smell. In Washington, D.C., the question becomes One degree more complicated. "Can I live without air conditioning?" is a crucial consideration, yes. But not nearly as difficult as, "Can I live with (or rent from) a Republican?"

Desperate times, however, call for desperate measures. In early June, the late hours that this job requires finally got to me, and I decided the time had come to ditch my cheap but far-off apartment for one closer to the office. Which is how, several days later, I found myself standing in the kitchen of a prospective landlord, staring at an assortment of red-white- and-blue elephant magnets on his refrigerator, and frantically considering possible answers to the question he had just asked me. "So, what kind of magazine is The Washington Monthly? "It sounded harmless enough. But just the fact that he asked meant that I'd already slipped up, sending my initial email inquiry from a work account instead of the more anonymous Hotmail address. Drat.

"Um, it's political," I replied, trying to focus on counting kitchen cabinets and figuring out where my slow cooker would go. (You can take the girl out of the Midwest, after all, but she's still going to need to make goulash from time to time.) Maybe he would lose interest, and I could switch conversation topics. "That's interesting," he said instead. "Liberal or conservative?"

I quickly reviewed my options. It was too late to try to pass the magazine off as the glossy and apolitical Washingtonian, even though most people confuse the two anyway. Should I lie? It didn't seem like the best way to start with the guy who would determine whether or not the hot water heater would get fixed in the middle of winter. For a few brief moments, I wondered if I'd made a mistake--rendered temporarily stupid, I tried to remember whether elephants were the good guys or the bad guys. I like elephants. Yes, but that's why it's counterintuitive. You're not an elephant, you're an ass. Yes, I was. I really needed to move, the place wasn't bad--anchors-away...