Disenfranchisement and Ambiguity in the Face of Loss: The Suffocated Grief of Sexual Assault Survivors

• Author: Tashel Bordere
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12231
• Published date: 01 February 2017
• Date: 01 February 2017

T B University of Missouri–Columbia

Disenfranchisement and Ambiguity in the Face of

Loss: The Suffocated Grief of Sexual Assault

Survivors

Grief, loss, and social injustice are vital ele-

ments in the distinct yet intersecting stories of

sexual assault and post-assault survivorship. Yet

survivors must frequently cope in isolation or in

programs and therapeutic settings informed by

literature that does not consistently account for

grief and loss as central to their experiences.

Utilizing a feminist framework, I review and

critique literature on sexual assault survivor-

ship and loss with focus on factors related to

disenfranchisement and suffocated grief among

young adult females. I also explore how these

factors further complicate grief and mourning

processes. Implications for socially just and cul-

turally appropriate research and practice with

bereaved sexual assault survivors are provided.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold

story inside you.

—Zora Neale Hurston, Dust Tracks on the

Road, 1969

Sexual assault survivors are among the most dis-

enfranchised populations, coping with narratives

of multiple losses, uncertainty, and grief that fre-

quently go unacknowledged (Doka, 1989). An

alleged perpetrator gleefully walked across the

stage at college graduation, cheered on by an

Department of Human Development and Family Science,

University of Missouri-Columbia (borderet@missouri.edu).

Key Words: Grief, loss, sexual assault survivors, social jus-

tice, young adult females.

audience, some of whom, aware of the assault,

applauded nonetheless. Meanwhile, the assault

survivor, disoriented and betrayed by a system

and society designed to protect offenders, strug-

gles with grief that is suffocated by a system

lled with penalties (Bordere, 2016b) around

missed days at work, delayed class assignment

submissions, and oppressive stigma stemming

from the assault. The survivor is left to con-

tend with losses of trust and physical and emo-

tional safety. She faces the agony of knowing

that despite the perpetrator’s nefarious actions,

he will experience the freedom to participate in

a life of possibilities and protections with few or

no social, educational, or legal sanctions—a lux-

ury that, in an instant, was violently seized from

the survivor.

This article is a call for more activist research

(see Cancian, 1993) employing feminist per-

spectives and promoting social change that

benets female sexual assault survivors (here-

after survivors). There is a need for more

social justice research and practice “promoting

social change and performing social action that

advance psychological prevention, psychoedu-

cation, and well-being” (Warren & Constantine,

2007, pp. 231–232) for survivors. Such work

moves beyond the standard practice of writing

research largely for the purposes of disseminat-

ing information to academicians or colleagues

(Cancian, 1993).

Although grief, loss, and social injustice are

inextricably intertwined with sexual assault

survivorship, few empirical studies, conceptual

Family Relations 66 (February 2017): 29–45 29

DOI:10.1111/fare.12231

30 Family Relations

models, and programs address these issues as

interrelated. A small body of literature conjoins

sexual assault and grief (e.g., Schultz & Harris,

2011; Whiston, 1981), and even less scholarly

attention has been paid to grief support as a

socially just practice in sexual assault survivor-

ship (e.g., Bordere, 2015). These disconnects

in the literature have looming implications for

our ability to meet the needs of sexual assault

survivors in educational settings, programming,

and policy.

In this article, I review, critique, and synthe-

size literature and knowledge on grief, loss, and

sexual assault. I utilize social justice, cultural

contextual, ecological systems, and feminist per-

spectives to argue that sexual assault (i.e., sexual

violation occurring in adulthood) is a non-death

loss experience. An important premise underly-

ing this article is the notion that support for loss

is a basic right or “unearned entitlement” of sur-

vivors (McIntosh, 2007, p. 281). In the course of

discussing disparities in the experiences of indi-

viduals and families affected by sexual assault,

I explore losses commonly associated with sex-

ual assault and issues of disenfranchisement and

suffocated grief that serve to further complicate

meaning-making and coping processes for sur-

vivors. In doing so, this article delineates rele-

vant grief and loss concepts and applies them to

literature on survivorship.

G, L,  C F

 S A S

Grief is a normal response to loss and is indeed a

part of sexual assault narratives. The experience

of grief, in general, is universal and entails

internal (e.g., cognitive, emotional) and external

(e.g., physical, social) processes. Although

universal, grief is contextual and expressed

in diverse ways (Bordere, 2016a; Rosenblatt,

2007). Further, grief stemming from loss is

rarely uncomplicated, especially when the loss

is associated with sexual assault survivorship.

A multitude of intersecting factors complicate

the grief process for survivors, posing unique

challenges for navigating life.

Losses in Sexual Assault Survivorship

Losses associated with sexual assault are num-

erous, cumulative, and multilayered. The pri-

mary loss is the loss of one’s pre-assault life

and worldview. There are also a multitude of

secondary or accompanying losses that may be

both visible (e.g., friendship loss) and invisible

(e.g., loss of trust). Secondary losses in sexual

assault include, but are not limited to, loss of

trust in self and others, such as beliefs about

the goodness of others (Ranjbar & Speer, 2013;

Shakespeare-Finch & Armstrong, 2010); loss

of self-identity, freedom, and independence

(Whiston, 1981); loss of control and autonomy,

such as in the timing of reporting (Ranjbar

& Speer, 2013); loss of a sense of safety and

security (Frazier, Conlon, & Glaser, 2001;

Whiston, 1981); loss of positive self-concept or

self-esteem (Macy, 2007; Van Bruggen, Runtz,

& Kadlec, 2006); loss of nances and job

(Frazier et al., 2001); loss of social capital

such as friends and social networks or intimate

partnerships (DePrince, 2005; Frazier et al.,

2001; Zamir & Lavee, 2014); and loss of sexual

interest and other sex-related losses (Stappen-

beck, Hassija, Zimmerman, & Kaysen, 2015;

Whiston, 1981).

In interchanges with the legal system, there

may be multiple losses. There may be a loss

of ability to present one’s case in court (Payne,

2009). Among cases that make it to trial, sur-

vivors may lose the ability to tell the assault

narrative in a coherent and meaningful way

because stories of survivors are often dismantled

in court, where survivors are instead expected

to respond to yes–no questions (Herman, 2003).

Additionally,there are losses of privacy and time

in legal proceedings; court trials often continue

for months or even years with no clear ending or

resolution (Herman, 2003), which may prolong

or delay grief (Parkes, 1998). The grief process

may be further complicated in cases where there

is a loss of conviction; survivors are revictim-

ized when the verdict reached is experienced as

unjust.

Sexual assault survivorship also entails non-

nite loss in that there is a continuous presence

of loss that is often hidden, invisible, and

ongoing in nature. The “ongoing sense of loss

may be exacerbated because the circumstances

surrounding the loss result in recurrent pain,

grief, or intense distress involving, for example,

shame, self-consciousness, or social isolation”

(Schultz & Harris, 2011, p. 240). This ongoing

sense of loss is often met with great uncer-

tainty in the aftermath of experiences such as

sexual assault. Boss (2010) has described this

uncertainty as ambiguous loss, which refers to

losses that are unclear, traumatic, and externally