To discipline kids, follow simple rules.
Parents hear all kinds of discipline advice, not only from experts, but from friends, relatives, and sometimes even strangers. One book stresses positive reinforcement, while another stresses "tough love." Aunt Sadie thinks you should spank, while Dr. Smith advises time out. Nevertheless, the particular type of discipline isn't as important as reasonableness and consistency, according to Radford University psychology professor and clinical child psychologist Jeffrey Chase.
"Discipline takes time and effort. It often takes more work to do the right thing than the wrong thing. People tend to ignore problems for as long as possible until they become angry. Anger can be useful if it gives us the energy to change what we need to change. But it's best to take action early, while you're still calm and rational."
When trying to improve behavior, Chase recommends focusing on one or two behaviors at a time. "You can't change the course of a river all at once, but you can move it a few degrees at a time." For instance:
* If you say there will be a particular consequence, be sure to follow through.
* Lighter, consistent punishment is more effective than ignoring negative behavior and then instituting a sweeping punishment. For example, repeatedly losing one hour of television privileges is more effective than losing one month's worth at a time. Lighter punishments also allow you to "up the ante" in order to modify behavior further.
* Instead of just telling youngsters what you don't...
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