The Coach's Corner
| Jurisdiction | Vermont,United States |
| Citation | Vol. 2005 No. 12 |
| Publication year | 2005 |
December 2005b - #10. The Coach's Corner
Dear Jo:
My clients sometimes complain that I don't return their phone calls. The truth is that I have nothing to say to them. There is no progress on their matter and, quite frankly, the client is often angry and depressed and that's the last thing I want to deal with in my day. But I know this frustrates the client, makes them angry, makes them think I'm not doing my job. What do I do?
A. To be successful and effective, a lawyer needs to pay attention to the emotional needs of the client. In law school and in practice we give little credence to the important role we have in listening deeply to a client and reflecting back to them what we are hearing - including what they are feeling. Practicing empathy . . . sounds easy? It's not, especially in a profession that deals with rules and outcomes rather than feelings. Many attorneys think that their clients' emotional lives have no bearing on the way their legal problems should be addressed. I could not disagree more. When you pay attention to the emotional state of your client, you increase your ability to negotiate and make better settlements.
A client's feelings matter. Lawyers need to practice law holistically, which includes a mindfulness and sensitivity to psychological issues. Rather than just asking how you can help this person with specific legal programs, it is also appropriate for you to get the whole picture. Your client may lack self confidence, may feel a sense of failure or helplessness. The client may feel overwhelmed by the legal process, discouraged, afraid, vulnerable, and unsure how to proceed. There may be an addiction problem. Or the client may be stranded in energy patterns of fear and negative self talk.
Open your heart and see your client as a human being who is in pain. It is not your job to relieve suffering, but you can improve your working relationship with the client by recognizing and acknowledging that you sense her pain. If you don't cross this threshold you risk your client feeling ignored, unimportant, or even rejected. So when in conversation with a client, ask her how it's going, how she...
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