Dearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Today to Get through This Thing Called Life!—Prince, 0417 COBJ, Vol. 46 No. 4 Pg. 5

• Author: Patricia Jarzobski, J.

46 Colo.Law. 5

Dearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Today to Get through This Thing Called Life!—Prince

Vol. 46, No. 4 [Page 5]

The Colorado Lawyer

April, 2017

CBA President’s Message

Patricia Jarzobski, J.

Dearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Today to Get through This Thing Called Life!—Prince I’m taking a break from the typical CBA President’s Message for a light-hearted look at our profession through the lens of lyrics from popular, vintage, and obscure music. Your job is to identify the songs and artists for each part of the story. The answers are in the endnotes.

I received permission from Jim Coyle, Attorney Regulation Counsel, to award one CLE credit to anyone who can identify all of the songs and artists. (Not really-April Fools!)

Have fun! And if you are a music triviaologist and identify all of the songs and artists-let me know. I’d love to hear from you!

(Image Omitted)

Law School

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys

Don’t let ’em pick guitars or drive them old trucks

Let ’em be doctors and lawyers and such¹

Carroll studied law with a bachelor’s degree

He’d read law books till way in the night

To be the world’s greatest lawyer was his goal in life²

Of course I went to law school and got a law degree

And counseled all my clients to plead insanity^[3]

We learned more from a three-minute record, baby

Than we ever learned in school⁴

Huh let me tell you what I been through when it comes to Sallie

She call me at least twice a day she want her money badly

Calling me from different numbers ooh she think She slick

But I got them all memorized I hit ignore quick . . .

I finished paying Sallie Mae back Mae back⁵

People try to put us d-down

Just because we g-g-get around

Things they do look awful c-c-cold

I hope I die before I get old

This is my generation⁶

It’s a long way to the top if you want to rock ’n’ roll⁷

Wake up kids

We’ve got the dreamer’s disease . . .

You’ll be ok, follow your heart⁸

Practicing Law in Colorado

When I was 19,

I threw my stuff in the car

I headed up to the Rockies, got a job at this bar

Sellin’ beer to the locals, just barely getting by^[9]

Tis the land where the columbines grow¹⁰

O beautiful for spacious skies,

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain^[11]

And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high

I’ve seen it raining fire in the sky^[12]

Yes I’m a ganja planter

Call me di ganja farmer^[13]

Then you better start swimming

Or you’ll sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin’^[14]

Criminal Law

I was gambling in Havana

I took a little risk

Send lawyers, guns, and money

Dad, get me out of this^[15]

Mama, just killed a man

Put a gun against his head

Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead

Mama, life had just begun

But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away^[16]

She’s filing her nails while they’re dragging the lake

She is watching the detectives^[17]

What I need is a good defense

’Cause I’m feeling like a criminal^[18]

I fought the law and the law won^[19]

Family Law

Love is a battlefield^[20]

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Roma-roma-mamaa!

Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!

Want your bad romance.^[21]

I should have bought you flowers

And held your hand

Should have gave you all my hours

When I had the chance^[22]

You’re giving me a million reasons to let you go^[23]

The lawyers dwell on small details

Since daddy had to fly^[24]

You serve me

And I’ll serve you . . .

Bring your lawyer

And I’ll bring mine^[25]

Don’t forget to call my lawyers

With ridiculous demands^[26]

Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final today . . .

And he thinks C-U-S-T-O-D-Y spells fun or play^[27]

Send my love to your new lover

Treat her better^[28]

Access to Justice

Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights!

Get up, stand up, don’t give up the fight!^[29]

When you’ve been fighting for it all your life

You’ve been working every day and night.

That’s how a superhero learns to fly^[30]

We are the champions, my friends

And we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end

We are the champions^[31]

Trial

Hear ye, hear ye

The court’s in session

The court’s in session, now

Here comes the judge^[32]

It’s all show business kid

These trials, the whole world, show business

But kid, you’re workin’ with a star, the biggest

Give ’em the old razzle dazzle

Razzle dazzle ’em^[33]

What’s wrong with being confident?^[34]

Here in the courthouse

The whole town was there

I see the judge

High up in the chair

Explain to the courtroom

What went through your mind

And we’ll ask the jury

What verdict they find^[35]

The Daily Grind of Practicing Law

Work work work work work work^[36]

Running on, running on empty

Running on...