Dear Abu: how to get the attention of al Qaeda's managing editor.

• Author: Malanowski, Jamie
• Position: 10 MILES SQUARE - Letter to the Editor

BAGHDAD, Iraq--A new online magazine purportedly posted by al-Qaeda's affiliate in Iraq has launched an effort to recruit Muslims to rid Iraq of infidels and apostates.... The colorful, well-designed magazine is named Zurwat al-Sanam, Arabic for "The Bp of the Camel's Hump"--a reference among Islamic militants to "the epitome of belief and virtuous activity" ... [C]ounterterrorism expert Evan Kohlmann told the Associated Press the magazine aims at "conveying the sense that the organization is professional, capable and really understands what they're doing." ... Abu Maysara al-Iraqi, the designated" media coordinator" for [al Qaeda in Iraq], posted the magazine on the Internet late Wednesday.

--The Associated Press, March 3, 2005

Dear Mr. al-Iraqi:

Congratulations on your new magazine! This is probably the best start-up since Bobby Guccione Jr. did Spin in the mid-80s. (Do you know Bob? He and I haven't spoken in years, but I'm pretty sure he'd recommend me.) I particularly love the tide! I'm sure everybody was telling you to call it Al Qaeda Weekly or Terrorist Living or something safe. The Tip of the Camel's Hump, however, is distinctive--like Wigwag! Nobody's going to Google it and get a dry cleaner.

Listen, I'm sure you're very happy with your content right now, but I just wanted to put my name in the mix in case you want some softer, feature-driven stuff. I know I'm an infidel, but I'd still love to do a travel column for you guys. From what I read, your organization has all these fellows flying hither and yon. Wouldn't it be a service to them to tell them how to get the best deals on airfare, hotels, and rental cars? Plus, we could do more tourist-oriented stuff. I gather when you guys visit a town you try to scope out all the large buildings and popular tourist attractions. But what about in the evenings? Maybe your guys would like to hear about some nice jazz clubs. What do you think?

Sincerely yours,

Dear Mr. al-Iraqi:

Thanks for sending me the nice pre-printed postcard. As it happens, I do not read Arabic, but let me guess: You thanked me for my letter and invited me to try you again. Well, here goes.

The magazine's called The Tip of the Camel's Hump, right? Right away, I'm thinking of a "Best of" guide--a two page front-of-the-book feature that's all about the tips of whatever camel humps are out there. You could do the best sports car or the best golf club or the best demolition ignition trigger--whatever. You could rate them...