Day‐to‐day changes and longer‐term adjustments to divorce ideation: Marital commitment uncertainty processes over time

• Published date: 01 April 2022
• Author: Sarah Allen,Alan J. Hawkins,Steven M. Harris,Kelly Roberts,Aimee Hubbard,Mattison Doman
• Date: 01 April 2022
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12599

ORIGINAL RESEARCH

Day-to-day changes and longer-term adjustments to

divorce ideation: Marital commitment uncertainty

processes over time

Sarah Allen

1

|Alan J. Hawkins

2

|Steven M. Harris

3

|

Kelly Roberts

4

|Aimee Hubbard

3

|Mattison Doman

1

1

Family Life and Human Development,

Southern Utah University, Cedar City,

Utah, USA

2

College of Family, Home, & Social Sciences,

Brigham Young University, Provo,

Utah, USA

3

Family Social Science, University of

Minnesota, St. Paul, Minnesota, USA

4

Division of Behavioral and Social Sciences,

Oklahoma Christian University, Edmond,

Oklahoma, USA

Correspondence

Sarah Allen, Family Life and Human

Development, Southern Utah University,

351 W. University Blvd Cedar City, Cedar

City, UT 84720-2470, USA.

Email: sarahallen3@suu.edu

Abstract

Objective: The aim of this study is to use in-depth, qualita-

tive interviews and longitudinal analysis to explore fluctua-

tions in divorce ideation over time with 30 participants

who had thoughts about divorce in the previous 6 months.

Background: Scholarship on marital ambivalence and

divorce ideation suggests the importance of better under-

standing the dialectical tensions involved in navigating the

many areas of life affected by marital commitment uncer-

tainty. To model complex relational processes of change

over time, researchers need to move beyond contextualized

snapshots of relationship outcomes to a more continuous

mapping of relationship processes, including changes in

emotions, beliefs, and behaviors regarding the future of

their marital relationship.

Methods: We completed in-depth interviews with partici-

pants who had recently been thinking about divorce at two

times approximately 8 to 10 months apart. Our team used

qualitative thematic analysis to elucidate emergent themes

and processes.

Results: We found complex and dynamic patterns of

leaning-in, leaning-out, and holding-on emotions, atti-

tudes, and behaviors that suggest theoretical models that

may better capture the dynamic process of how commit-

ment uncertainty influences the ways in which married

partners think about the future of their marriage.

Conclusion: This research can help improve how we theo-

retically model commitment uncertainty processes embed-

ded in divorce ideation within the complex processes of

day-to-day and longer term relational changes over time.

Implications: Family practitioners and the couples they

serve can benefit from expanded conceptualizations of

Received: 18 September 2020Revised: 5 February 2021Accepted: 26 May 2021

DOI: 10.1111/fare.12599

© 2021 National Council on Family Relations.

Family Relations. 2022;71:611–629.wileyonlinelibrary.com/journal/fare 611

marital commitment outcomes that also include the pro-

cesses of marital commitment as a way to normalize the

ebbs and flows of relationships.

KEYWORDS

commitment uncertainty, divorce decision-making, divorce ideation

INTRODUCTION

Recent scholarship in the domain of commitment uncertainty (Owen, Rhoades, et al., 2014),

marital ambivalence (Hinson et al., 2017), and divorce ideation (Allen & Hawkins, 2017;

Hawkins et al., 2017) suggests the importance of better understanding the fluid pushes and pulls

involved in navigating marital commitment uncertainty over time. More than half of married

U.S. adults have had serious thoughts about divorce at some point in their marriage, and a

quarter have had recent thoughts (Hawkins et al., 2017). Other research documents how these

individuals can struggle to get clarity about the future of their marriage (Harris et al., 2017).

This longitudinal qualitative study explores fluctuations in divorce ideation over time as inte-

gral to understanding marital commitment uncertainty as a dynamic process of leaning in, lean-

ing out, or holding on to one’s marriage rather than as a specific outcome (ending or continuing

the marriage). This process focus has been used fruitfully to study dynamic adaptation to

divorce rather than just the outcome (Demo & Fine, 2010; Hetherington & Kelly, 2002; Van

Gasse & Mortelmans, 2020) and how spouses may adjust their behavior in anticipation of a

divorce rather than as an outcome of it (Poortman, 2005). A focus on dynamic processes better

maps the lived experiences of people struggling with uncertainty about the future of their mar-

riage. It is also more helpful in crafting effective interventions (Demo & Fine, 2010), as we spe-

cifically address later on. We, too, employ a more process-oriented approach to understanding

divorce ideation, regardless of whether spouses end or continue their marriage.

With this process lens, marital commitment is seen just as much as a commitment to manag-

ing the uncertain processes of change and stability inherent in marital relationships as it is an

outcome measure regarding one’s level of commitment or decision to remain together. This shift

in focus may help family professionals gain a better understanding of the nature of marital com-

mitment and how married partners make decisions about the future of their marriage over time

within the context of shifting emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. Our guiding research question is:

How do relationship commitment and commitment uncertainty fluctuate over time—in this case,

over a 1-year period—and how do these changes influence how individuals think about the future

of their marriage?

We begin by first reviewing current research and theory on how marital commitment and

commitment uncertainty are conceptualized and why they are important to understand. We

also elaborate on what we mean by thinking about commitment and commitment uncertainty

as a process and how qualitative, longitudinal methods are well-suited to exploring these

dynamic processes. We want to clarify that this is a study about divorce ideation—thoughts

about divorce among married individuals—and not about divorce outcomes or adaptation to

divorce.

Divorce rates in the United States have decreased significantly from their apex in the early

1980s, but divorce still affects the lives of more than a million adults and children each year

(National Marriage Project, 2019). While we acknowledge a voluminous literature on the

potential negative effects of divorce on family members (Amato, 2010; Amato &

Anthony, 2014) and research indicating lower levels of commitment are associated with divorce

(Amato, 2010), we also recognize that there are diverse outcome trajectories—positive, nega-

tive, and neutral—associated with divorce (and staying married; Hetherington & Kelly, 2002).

612 FAMILY RELATIONS