CUSTODY OF CHILDREN IN A DIVORCE PROCESS: A FAMILY SELF‐DETERMINATION MODEL

• Date: 01 September 1978
• Published date: 01 September 1978
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/j.174-1617.1978.tb00777.x
• Author: Ann Milne

CUSTODY

OF

CHILDREN

IN

A

DIVORCE

PROCESS:

A

FAMILY SELF-DETERMINATION MODEL

Ann Milne"

Determining custody of children in divorce

actions

is

a

growing

area

of concern for profes-

sionals working in family court settings. Along

with the increasing number of couples filing for

divorce

is

a

proportionate increase in the number

of parents unable to agree on the custody of

their children. The custody dispute

is

often

clouded by issues relative to the marital dysfunc-

tion and the adversary nature of the legal pro-

cess.

In light of the growing number of custody

contests and their traumatic effects upon the

families involved, the staff of the Family Court

Counseling Service, Dane County, Wisconsin, has

been evaluating

its

method of conducting cus-

tody studies. Our increasing dissatisfaction with

the present method of formulating custody rec-

ommendations has prompted us to explore

a

more constructive approach in reaching custody

decisions.

The Family Self-Determination Program,

a

new procedure for deciding the custody of chil-

dren in divorce actions, was initially developed

in

1974.

The Self-Determination program grew

out of the frustrations on the part of the coun-

seling staff with having to agonize over other

peoples' life decisions. The amount of energy,

anguish, court time and financial expense were

motivators in realizing that there must be

a

better way. In searching for some answer we

began to evaluate our previously accepted phil-

osophy that when parents are getting

a

divorce

and can't agree on the custody of the children,

someone

else,

namely the court and

it's

staff,

will make the decision for them.

The basic premise of the Self-Determination

Model

is

that during the process of divorce and

*Ann Milne, A.C.S.W.,

is

a

counselor, Dade County

Family Court, Madison, Wisconsin 53709.

This paper was presented

at

the 16th Annual Con-

ference

of

the Association

of

Family Counciliation

Courts, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, May 19,

1978. Copyright

0

by Ann Milne, 1978.

1

after, the family must retain

its

ascribed func-

tion of parenting the children. The

idea

that

parenting responsibilities don't end with

divorce led us. to develop

a

custody counseling

program in which parents are assisted in contin-

uing to be parents together. One of the respons-

ibilities of all parents, married or divorced,

is

that

of

deciding what

is

best for the children.

For divorcing parents the task

is

to determine

with whom

it

is

best for the children

to

live

and

how the children are going to be involved with

the other parent. In other words, planning for

the future of this family in

its

newly reorganized

state.

Briefly, the Family Self-Determination pro-

gram

is

a

series of sessions which involves the

family in evaluating the pros and cons of each

potential living arrangement, assessing the needs

of

the children, and determining the best match

between these two factors. Rather than the

counselor taking the responsibility for the deci-

sion

it

is

the parents who are laying the facts on

the table, sorting through the alternatives and

putting together

a

plan which can best meet the

needs of their children. The emphasis

is

away

from the "award" of custody to one parent and

the relegation of the other parent to the

"visit-

ing" status, and toward an emphasis on assisting

the family to reorganize

itself

and carry on with

its

parenting responsibility.

The advantages of this approach are many.

First, the Family Self-Determination program

gives

the parents actual experience in parenting

together

at

a

critical time for the family and for

the children. The determination of living

arrangements for the children

is

one of the most

difficult decisions that any

set

of parents ever

makes. The Family Self-Determination process

allows the parent to

see

that because they are

getting

a

divorce does not mean that they will

cease

to be making decisions about the children.

The process educates parents to their continuing

roles and reinforces them

as

they perform their

role.

CONCILIATION

COURTS

REVIEW

/VOLUME

16,

NUMBER 2

/SEPTEMBER

1978