Couples' Perceptions of Each Other's Daily Affect: Empathic Accuracy, Assumed Similarity, and Indirect Accuracy

• Author: Chrystyna D. Kouros,Lauren M. Papp
• Published date: 01 March 2019
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12344
• Date: 01 March 2019

Couples’ Perceptions of Each Other’s Daily Affect:

Empathic Accuracy, Assumed Similarity, and

Indirect Accuracy

CHRYSTYNA D. KOUROS*

LAUREN M. PAPP

†

This study examined couples’ perceptions of each other’s daily affect, using a daily diary

methodology. Specifically, we tested the extent to which couples accurately inferred how

their partner was feeling (empathic accuracy) and the extent to which spouses used their

own feelings as a gauge for how their partner was feeling (assumed similarity). We also

tested for indirect accuracy in couples’ perceptions; that is, that assumed similarity in the

context of actual similarity leads to empathic accuracy. Participants were 51 couples who

completed daily diaries for seven consecutive nights. Results based on the Actor-P artner

Interdependence Model indicated that couples showed both empathic accuracy and

assumed similarity in their perception of their partner’s positive affect; however, they used

assumed similarity in rating their partner’s hard negative (anger, hostility) and soft nega-

tive (sadness, fear) affect. Furthermore, tests of indirect accuracy found that wives were

indirectly accurate in perceiving their husbands’ positive affect and both husbands and

wives were indirectly accurate in perceiving each other’s hard negative affect because they

were biased. Complementing laboratory studies, the present study highlights that examin-

ing couples’ perceptions of each other’s feelings in contexts of daily life, and differentiating

positive and negative emotions, can further our understanding of the role of emotions for

healthy relationship functioning.

Keywords: Daily affect; Daily diary; Empathic accuracy; Assumed similarity; Indirect

accuracy

Fam Proc 58:179–196, 2019

Emotions play a central role in the healthy functioning of intimate relationships, pro-

viding an internal gauge of a person’s satisfaction with the relationship and organiz-

ing one’s behavior toward their partner (Greenberg & Goldman, 2008). For example,

Tashiro and Frazier (2007) found that couples who were induced to feel negative emotions

used more negative conflict behavior, such as interrupting and criticizing their partner, in

a subsequent interaction. Positive emotions, in contrast, have been linked to better conflict

resolution, greater relationship satisfaction, and marital stability (Gable, Gonzaga, &

Strachman, 2006; Shiota, Campos, Keltner, & Hertenstein, 2004). Moreover, being emo-

tionally attuned to one’s partner, such that couples can accurately perceive and decipher

what each other is feeling, is also important for healthy relationships. Indeed, mirroring

*Department of Psychology, Southern Methodist University, Dallas, TX.

†

Department of Human Development and Family Studies, University of Wisconsin-Madison, Madison, WI.

Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Chrystyna D. Kouros, Department of Psy-

chology, Southern Methodist University, P. O. Box 750442, Dallas, TX 75219. E-mail: ckouros@smu.edu.

Grant support: This study was supported by an internal grant from Southern Methodist University

awarded to Kouros.

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Family Process, Vol. 58, No. 1, 2019 ©2018 Family Process Institute

doi: 10.1111/famp.12344

and validating your partner’s emotions is a critical component of many therapeutic

approaches with couples (Greenberg & Goldman, 2008). This ability to be in tune with and

accurately perceive your partner’s thoughts and feelings—known as empathic accuracy

(Ickes & Simpson, 1997)—has been implicated in positive relationship outcomes, such as

greater accommodative behavior during conflict, better communication, providing sup-

port, and higher marital satisfaction (Cohen, Schulz, Weiss, & Waldinger, 2012; Howland,

2015; Kilpatrick, Bissonnette, & Rusbult, 2002; Luo & Snider, 2009; see also Sened, Lavi-

dor et al., 2017 meta- analysis).

Empathic accuracy is commonly operationalized as a difference score between how one

rated themselves as feeling and how their partner perceived them to be feeling; lower

scores reflect greater empathic accuracy. However, research has shown that couples also

often assume their partner shares the same thoughts and feelings and, therefore, rely on

their own feelings to judge how their partner feels—a perception bias knows as assumed

similarity or projection (Kenny & Acitelli, 2001). Furthermore, accuracy in inferring your

partner’s emotions may arise not only because you are attuned to your partner’s emotions,

but also because you and your partner may happen to feel the same and you assumed sim-

ilarity. Thus, higher empathic accuracy may be an artifact of assumed similarity. Kenny

and colleagues (Kenny & Acitelli, 2001; West & Kenny, 2011) refer to this phenomenon as

indirect accuracy; that is, accuracy in perceiving your partner’s feelings arises because of

your bias, and not from being empathically attuned to your partner. There have been lim-

ited studies on spouses’ ability to perceive their partner’s emotions outside of a laboratory

setting, taking into account both empathic accuracy and assumed similarity perceptions,

as well as testing for indirect accuracy. The purpose of the present study was to examine

couples’ perceptions of their partner’s daily positive and negative affect, using a daily

diary methodology, in order to test the extent to which couples’ perceptions of each other

in everyday life are characterized by empathic accuracy, assumed similarity, and indirect

accuracy.

Partners’ perception of each other has been studied in relation to personality factors

and relationship factors such as commitment and closeness, emotional support, and con-

flict style (e.g., Bar-Kalifa, Rafaeli, & Sened, 2016; Kenny & Acitelli, 2001; Thomas,

Fletcher, & Lange, 1997; see Gagn

e & Lydon, 2004, for review). This research has shown

that partners are both empathically accurate and biased in their perceptions of their part-

ner; thus these two perceptions are not mutually exclusive (Acitelli, Douvan, & Verhoff,

1993; Kenny & Acitelli, 2001; Luo & Snider, 2009; Sadikaj, Moskowitz, & Zuroff, 2015).

Furthermore, in close relationships, there is evidence that perceptions of assumed similar-

ity may be stronger when compared to empathic accuracy (Kenny & Acitelli, 2001; Schul

& Vinokur, 2000).

With regard to perceptions of emotions, the majority of studies have assessed couples’

perceptions during standard, laboratory-based discussion tasks (e.g., Papp, Kouros, &

Cummings, 2010; Sanford, 2012; Simpson, Ori~

na, & Ickes, 2003). In this paradigm, cou-

ples are videotaped discussing a topic of disagreement or relationship issue; after the dis-

cussion, couples report how they felt and how they think their partner felt, either by

reviewing the videotape or filling out a postinteraction questionnaire. Papp et al. (2010)

found significant empathic accuracy and assumed similarity in partners’ ratings of each

other’s negative emotions, whereas assumed similarity was more consistently found for

perceptions of their partners’ positive emotions. Relatedly, couples are more likely to

reciprocate their partner’s negative emotions during conflict (Gaelick, Bodenhausen, &

Wyer, 1985), further suggesting that couples may be more attuned to and accurate in per-

ceiving negative emotions. However, this is not a consistent finding: Campos, Schoebi,

Gonzaga, Gable, and Keltner (2015) found greater accuracy for positive emotions in dating

couples compared to negative emotions, and Guthrie and Noller (1988) reported that

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