Could you pass a parent test?

Tests are required for obtaining a driver's license, a college diploma, citizenship, a good job - the list is virtually endless. Yet, they are conspicuously absent from one of the most important aspects of a person's life - parenting, notes Wanda Draper, professor of child development, University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center. If there were a parent test, she says, it probably should include the following questions:

Should I feel guilty if my child is in day care? "A lot of guilt is the parents' fantasy. It's very real to them, but it's unnecessary. If a child is in a day care environment in which [he or she] has an enriching social and learning experience, there is no need for guilt."

Parents who see their children at the end of the work day should stop whatever they are doing and pay attention, showing enthusiasm over the things the youngsters have accomplished at school. "This is opposed to saying, |Wait a minute, honey, while I read the paper' or |Let Mommy rest for a minute.' That gives a powerful psychological message. Even if you are busy, let the child know that nothing is more important to you than what he or she did today."

Is it correct to set limits on my child's behavior? "Parents often refrain from setting limits because they want their children to like them. They don't realize this may cause a problem. Children really do want their parents to set limits, and these should be in...