Coping with Holidays After a Loss.

The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, but especially for those who have lost someone close to them. While it can be hard to anticipate troublesome moments, the holidays may be a little easier if people plan ahead, suggests Ann Kelley, professor of nursing, University of New Hampshire, Durham.

"Birthdays, anniversaries, and the holidays are especially difficult times for those who have lost someone dear to them," explains Kelley, who teaches a class at the university on death and dying. "And it doesn't matter how long it has been since a death. People may get angry with themselves because those feelings of grief, which they thought had been conquered, have resurfaced. Or they may find themselves having a good time and feel guilty. Experiencing happiness does not mean you have forgotten your loved one or that you loved him or her any less."

The important thing to understand is that the process of grieving is important and that it is okay to recognize the loss. Family and friends may think they are doing a favor by not talking about the death, but it is important to express feelings to cope with the grief. "Communicate your needs to family and friends if it's important to talk about your loved one. Don't be afraid to shed those tears. Relive happy memories and include them in your conversations. When others realize that you are comfortable talking about your loved one, they may relate stories that add to your pleasant memories."

Honoring the deceased as part of the holiday celebration may help some cope with the loss. Creating a book of photographs and memories, lighting a candle at church, putting a special ornament on the...