Coping with client expectations in divorce.

• Author: Kochaika, James
• Position: Florida

Divorcing persons enter the legal arena sometimes with little desire to participate, and frequently with little understanding of the language and procedures of divorce.

The family lawyer who wishes to maximize professional effectiveness must take seriously not only the technical aspects of the discipline but also the client's perception of the overall service. These perceptions are not always obvious, often are not well communicated, and are comprised of measures unique to each individual client. Further, the attorney's status of being very familiar with the practice of law, the legal system, and divorce can actually impede an understanding of the client's perspective. This perspective includes feelings about the fact of divorce, the process and outcome of resolution, and also treatment from their own attorney. The divorcing client presents a special challenge since the individual engages the family lawyer at a time of great emotional strain, with diminished ability to function, and hypersensitivity to rejection and disappointment. For these reasons, observations and experiences of the mental health professional who works with divorcing clients may provide important information about the client that is not routinely accessed by the attorney. By virtue of training, and the experience of seeing divorcing clients during their time of representation, the mental health practitioner is in a unique position to assist the family lawyer.

The psychotherapy setting is one in which divorcing clients frequently share their feelings of the divorce and encounters with their attorney. These same clients often are reluctant to share these perceptions in the attorney's office. Increased awareness and sensitivity to the professional relationship may first provide the attorney with a valuable method to determine whether a case should be accepted. The premise is that a poor attorney-client fit can result in several undesirable outcomes: being fired, reputation damaged from unhappy clients, and reduced professional satisfaction. Conversely, the ability to establish a sound relationship at the outset should reduce the incidence of dissatisfied clients since both parties will begin the divorce process with a better understanding of their respective roles.

The purpose of this article is to help the attorney understand typical emotions of divorcing individuals, client-reported difficulties in working with their attorneys, and ways to think about particular client relationship issues.

The Emotional Status of Divorcing Individuals

While some mental health experts(1) view divorce as a growth experience, for the majority of divorcing persons it represents one of life's most painful conditions. In fact, research(2) suggests that divorce ranks as a potent contributor of the kind of emotional stress that ultimately can contribute to physical illness. Not surprisingly, divorcing persons often exhibit various psychological disorders at a higher rate than the general population,(3) with some of these conditions seriously compromising the client's ability to function effectively on a daily basis.

Divorcing persons enter the legal arena sometimes with little desire to participate, and frequently with little understanding of the language and procedures of divorce. Most persons who divorce will do so only once or twice in their lives. Therefore, the emotional tenor is one of fear, ignorance, and, because of clients' emotional fragility, an often-limited ability to think and act effectively. Given the state of demoralization that characterizes divorcing persons, the way that bad news is delivered by the attorney is critical to maintaining a good relationship. From a general understanding of divorcing clients, the attorney may consider the following practice points:

* Clients do not necessarily hear what the attorney is saying even when they appear to be doing so.

* Assume that clients will be hypersensitive to any professional communications.

* Clients will not necessarily report when they are dissatisfied with some aspect of the professional relationship.

* Clients may be limited in their ability to follow through on responsibilities accompanying the divorce process.

While divorce in general is associated with a range of negative emotional and behavioral features, it is not a discrete event but rather comprises a series of emotional experiences that have unique behavioral characteristics. One way to better understand this range of emotions is through a five-stage model developed through research conducted with...