Co‐parenting in a Highly Conflicted Separation/Divorce: Learning about Parents and their Experiences of Parenting Coordination, Legal, and Mental Health Interventions

• Author: Linda Fieldstone,Marsha Kline Pruett,Kelly Mandarino
• Date: 01 October 2016
• Published date: 01 October 2016
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12243

CO-PARENTING IN A HIGHLY CONFLICTED SEPARATION/

DIVORCE: LEARNING ABOUT PARENTS AND THEIR EXPERIENCES

OF PARENTING COORDINATION, LEGAL, AND MENTAL HEALTH

INTERVENTIONS

Kelly Mandarino, Marsha Kline Pruett, and Linda Fieldstone

Sixty high-conflict separated/divorced co-parents completed surveys investigating characteristics and dynamics (narcissism,

empathy, conflict) that were examined in relation to co-parenting style and parents’ experiences of parenting coordination,

legal, and mental health interventions. Study findings for this sample did not support common notions found in the literatures

on parenting coordination and high-conflict divorce that suggest these parents are often narcissistic or low in empathy. Find-

ings pertaining to all high-conflict participant experiences revealed the presence of common elements across aspects of practi-

tioners and interventions with which they were both satisfied and dissatisfied.

Key Points for the Family Court Community:

Parental personality characteristics such as narcissism and lack of empathy are often noted in the literature on high-

conflict separation/divorce.

Parent perspectives of their experiences in legal and mental health interventions, most notably in Parenting Coordina-

tion, are sparse in the literature.

Parent participants completed an anonymous survey about their experiences in legal and mental health interventions.

Results revealed a sample low in narcissism and high in empathy, but still in a conflicted co-parenting relationship

with their child(ren)’s other parent.

Common themes were found among all interventions that parents were satisfied and dissatisfied with in terms of the

intervention and practitioner.

Keywords: Co-Parenting; Divorce; Empathy; High Conflict; Parenting Coordination; Narcissism; and Separation.

INTRODUCTION

Pervasive conflict is the best predictor of child and parent maladjustment following separation/

divorce (Amato & Keith, 1991; Saini, 2012). Interparental conflict is frequent in separations/divorces

involving children, at least initially, as most parents remain in contact with one another while raising

their children (Kelly, 2000; Saini, 2012). Literature has focused on the effects of personality charac-

teristics on a parent’s ability to cope with the transition of separation, as well as on the level of paren-

tal conflict (Baum & Shnit, 2003; Demby, 2009; Donner, 2006; Johnston & Campbell, 1988; Milne,

1988). Separation ignites past feelings of hurt and vulnerability which, when coupled with current

conflict, can result in internal conflicts becoming reactivated and played out with one’s ex-partner

(Baum & Shnit, 2003; Cantor, 1982; Hansen & Shireman, 1986). Practitioners and researchers sug-

gest that, in general, narcissistic vulnerabilities are evident in highly conflicted couples and relate to

low capacity for empathy between parents and intimate relationships (Boyan & Termini, 2004;

Demby, 2009; Donner, 2006; Dutton, Denny-Keys, & Sells, 2011; Ehrenberg, Hunter, & Elterman,

1996; Friedman, 2004; Johnston & Campbell, 1988; Kelly, 2003). Yet there is little empirical

research of which specific personality characteristics may be implicated in factors contributing to

co-parenting styles (i.e., co-parent relationships, parental functioning) (Baum & Shnit, 2003). Fur-

thermore, narcissism and empathy have been identified as relevant to conflict and co-parenting in

Correspondence: drkelly@kellymandarino.com

FAMILY COURT REVIEW, Vol. 54 No. 4, October 2016 564–577

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C2016 Association of Family and Conciliation Courts