Conflicts over intimacy within mature, happy marriages reliance and reliability in intimate relationships: An interpretive phenomenological analysis

• Published date: 01 March 2022
• Author: Scott Gerschwer
• Date: 01 March 2022
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1002/crq.21321

RESEARCH ARTICLE

Conflicts over intimacy within mature, happy

marriages reliance and reliability in intimate

relationships: An interpretive

phenomenological analysis

Scott Gerschwer PhD

Western Connecticut State University,

Danbury, Connecticut, USA

Correspondence

Scott Gerschwer, PhD, Western

Connecticut State University, Danbury,

CT, USA.

Email: gerschwers@wcsu.edu

Abstract

This study employed interpretive phenomenological analy-

sis to examine the lived experience of 10 middle-aged, mar-

ried couples in mature relationships who self-identified as

“happily married”as to how they manage marital conflict

over closeness-distance issues. The researcher was particu-

larly interested in dyadic communication and meta-

communication that occurred before, during and after con-

flict. Open-ended questions were used to prompt stories

about times when an issue of closeness and distance cre-

ated conflict in the relationship. The researcher recorded

and transcribed the calls and conducted a close analysis of

the stories told by the subjects. During the analysis phase,

a number of themes emerged. The current article exam-

ines two salient themes: a) that a “turning point,”defined

as significant crisis or event in life, contributes to the level

of intimacy within the dyad; and b) this turning point led

the couples to understand that they could rely solely on

one another in a time of crisis, thereby increasing the level

of intimacy within the relationship. Although the turning

point stories were all unpleasant experiences, in every case

they served to bring the couple closer together. Further

research is needed, but the idea holds some promise as a

factor of success/failure of marriages. The present article

focuses on the evolution of mutual reliance as a relational

value and perhaps as a dimension of intimacy.

Received: 2 June 2021 Revised: 2 September 2021 Accepted: 3 September 2021

DOI: 10.1002/crq.21321

Conflict Resolution Quarterly. 2022;39:261–274. wileyonlinelibrary.com/journal/crq © 2021 Wiley Periodicals LLC. 261