Conduct Unbecoming: The Rise and Ruin of Finley, Kumble.

• Author: Lewis, Michael

Conduct Unbecoming: The Rise and Ruin of Finley, Kumble

I once had a wicked but satisfying dream. I had rented a boat on a winter evening and invited aboard a selection of the most repellent people I know. The guests were chosen to include the full range of offensive qualities--hypocrisy, self-obsession, arrogance, greed, spite, etc. I floated my dreamboat, this Ark of Vice, far out onto a deep sea. There I watched the monsters mingle. I believe I even scribbled notes for a Vanity Fair profile or two. At last, when the irritation became unbearable, I pulled the plug (my boat had a plug) and slipped ever so quietly over the side, into a waiting skiff. There were no survivors.

Until I read the work under review (*1) it hadn't occurred to me that my dream could come true. Conduct Unbecoming is the result of a similar experiment; it tells--or attempts to tell--the story of the sinking of a law firm, Finley, Kumble, custom-built by the author to accommodate only revolting human beings. It seems that somewhere back in the late seventies, Steven Kumble acquired the dubious conviction that corporate lawyers were underpaid. "Why," writes Kumble, "should a lawyer work very hard and not get paid for it? Most of the lawyers I know are better educated, brighter, and work harder than the people they represent in the business world. But they make less money. Why?" In building his firm, Kumble would correct this travesty of natural justice.

The idea was to build a truly national law firm. Over the course of the past decade, Kumble, by promising to make his partners rich, persuaded dozens of small law firms around the country to combine with Finley, Kumble. A lot of the money behind the promises was, like the money behind so many recent promises, borrowed. When Finley, Kumble declared bankruptcy in 1988, it owed $83 million ot its bankers. The 750 lawyers who reached for Kumble's shimmering gold-plated ring were not, it seems, uniformly admirable. Even one of its own partners termed Finley, Kumble a "scuzz pile." And most of this book is one long, tedious illustration of this point, as Kumble unburdens himself of his hitherto concealed distaste for the men he invited onto his dream boat, and who, in 1987, one year before the firm sank, staged a mutiny and tossed him overboard.

Finley crumble

Herein lies one of the two major dramatic flaws of the tale. The reader is meant to see tragedy in the collapse of Finley, Kumble. But after about 25 pages of Kumble's...