Communicating across cultures: connecting and finding common ground.

• Author: Dee, Kevin M.
• Position: HR Matters

"We were always welcomed in our travels wherever we went ... we came with young children and a soccer ball. Kids connect real quick with other kids and soccer is pretty universal."

--Family of four that spent five years travelling to thirty-six countries by camper van

Less than fifty years ago the American view of the world, brought to us by National Geographic magazine, included exotic faraway places with exotic people living lives very differently. I treasured reading each issue, old or not, to learn and understand about these places and people. Each issue explored and celebrated cultures that were so different than my world. It was exciting and amazing. Today, our world has shrunk to where connectivity through media and the internet is instantaneous. We are more connected and exposed than ever to the wide world. Why is it then that we still have difficulty understanding and bridging differences across cultures? With our world shrinking and becoming more connected every day, how can we understand our differences and find common ground? How do we also stay true and connected to our own cultures?

I was originally raised in Boston ... where you "pahk" your "cah" in the "yahd" and then wonder where you left your "khakis." When I went out to college in Iowa and ordered a "beah" at the "bah," a bunch of locals turned and one said, "Where you from?" in a menacing tone. I immediately lost my Boston accent and only regain it when I go back to New England.

A long time ago I was leading a five day workshop in Sydney, Australia, for more than two hundred participants. After an exercise they were slow to move back to their seats and I said, "Everyone needs to quickly put their fanny in a chair." The room burst out in raucous laughter and I was bewildered. An Aussie assistant came to me and informed me that "fanny" in Australian is slang for female genitalia and that Aussies do not wear fanny packs--they wear bum bags. It was an embarrassing moment to say the least, yet I was relieved that they had such good humor about it (they laughed for ten minutes). Misunderstanding and confusion can abound when communicating across cultures. Misunderstanding is often the precursor to conflict. Conflict left unresolved is like cancer.

Conflict and misunderstandings can often be traced to cultural differences--the values and even the language that different cultures practice. There are so many differences at times that we think some people must be from another...